March 19, 2021
'I thought he loved us' | Roane Co. domestic violence survivor opens up about years of abuse to raise awareness
Domestic abuse comes in all forms, and raising awareness about it could save lives.
One Roane County woman is sharing her story after escaping her abuser, a cult and years of living in a shed away from society. She hopes it will help inform other people about domestic abuse and save more people from it.
"Many people don't realize they are abused until they get out. I didn't," said Bella Hope Shiloh who spent a decade of her life in an abusive relationship.
She uses an alias to protect her identity. She has also released a memoir about her experiences.
"There's emotional, mental, financial, sexual, spiritual abuse," she said. "Because they're subtle, it's harder to put a label on it."
She met her husband at a church she said was a religious cult with extreme beliefs. They lived in a shed with their children far away from the outside world for several years.
"We didn't have water, electricity, phone, vehicle, shower, bathroom," she said.
Because she was so isoalted, she wasn't able to understand the abuse.
"I didn't even know my situation was considered domestic violence so I didn't have the verbiage to explain," she said.
Behind closed doors, she said her situation was terrifying.
"Regardless how he suffocated our children, how he beat them or raped us … or kept us in a shed," Shiloh said. "We ate dandelions when we ran out of food. Regardless of all that ... I thought he loved us."
She managed to find the courage to leave with her children, but the relationship continued for more than four years later until she came across an article.
Shiloh said that it described her experience almost word-for-word, and was shocked that it was called abuse. She said she did not have a name for the experiences up until then.
She's still trying to finalize the divorce more than four years later.
"I had one judge tell me, he said, 'your story is the worst one I've heard in 44 years of law and 16 years as a judge,'" she said. "To me, I couldn't comprehend that because it was all normal to me."
She's using her story to raise awareness for other survivors and victims through a new book, 'Prisoners in the Shed.'
"There are always people who will hear your story, understand the dynamics of abuse, pick it out," Shiloh said.
She's focusing on building a better future and leaving the past behind. She's currently studying at Roane State Community College to become an attorney.
She'd like to press criminal charges for her experiences but doesn't have the legal resources.
Her book, 'Prisoners in the Shed,' is available on amazon.
https://www.wbir.com/article/news/local/i-thought-he-loved-us-roane-co-domestic-violence-survivor-opens-up-about-years-of-abuse-to-raise-awareness/51-782b526b-15ce-431f-a9d3-499960635caf
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