Covert Emotional Abuse (CEA), Vatican, Opus Dei, Sarah Lawrence College, Larry Ray
Still Quiet Place: See It. Stop It. Heal It: Ending Cycles of Abuse in Sports and Society
"No athlete, no child, no human being should have to endure abuse in pursuit of their dreams. Yet, as the courageous Senate testimony of world class gymnasts Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, Maggie Nichols, and McKayla Maroney demonstrated, abuse is all too common. Ms. Biles gave voice to the visceral agony of the victims "The scars of this horrific abuse continue to live with all of us."
Thus, it is imperative that children and adults learn to recognize and prevent all forms of abuse in sports and society. Focusing on egregious sexual abuse and the flagrant failures of USA Gymnastics, the United Sates Olympic and Paralympic Committee, and the FBI, is way too little and way too late.
As with other epidemics, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse can be stopped. Together, we can create comprehensive systems of prevention, so that no one has to suffer the injuries and live with the scars of abuse, much less reopen those wounds in front of the U.S. Senate.
Covert emotional abuse (CEA) is almost always the initial form of abuse, and it all too often leads to physical and sexual abuse. CEA is a tightly woven, almost invisible spider's web meant to ensnare and control the victim. My intention is to make the web, patterns, and shimmering threads of CEA visible so we can see it, stop it, and heal it, individually and collectively.
My analysis and recommendations are informed by diagnostic criteria of both emotional abuse in sport and spiritual abuse is well-documented examples of CEA in sports, and my experience with a covert emotionally abusive coach. As a physician, mindfulness coach, and former Stanford gymnast, my life's purpose is preventing and relieving suffering, and supporting people (particularly athletes),enhancing their well-being and finding joy and flow."
Out: Priest Arrested After Using Parish Money to Fund Gay Sex Parties
Grunge: THE MESSED UP TRUTH ABOUT OPUS DEI
"A Catholic priest in Italy has been arrested and accused of stealing over $100,000 from his parish which he then used to fund drug-fueled gay sex parties with his roommate.
Father Francesco Spagnesi, 40, was put on house arrest after authorities received a tip that his roommate was buying and importing the date-rape drug GHB, which they then sold to guests at his sex parties. According to Corriere, Spagnesi allegedly confessed to his lawyers and has promised to make full restitution to the parishioners he victimized.
"So much pain," Bishop Giovanni Nerbini said in a videotaped message to parishioners at the Annunciation at Castellina after news of Spagnesi's arrest broke earlier this month.
Nerbini said church leaders became suspicious last spring about financial transfers from the parish coffers to Spagnesi. When he confronted the popular priest, Nerbini explained, "I was told that it was aid for needy people in the parish."
As the internal investigation unfolded, however, he was forced to relieve Spagnesi of both his ministerial and fiduciary responsibilities at the parish. He then gave the priest a year-long sabbatical.
"In my heart, I wanted to save the person," Nerbini said.
According to La Nazione, Spagnesi experienced a difficult past and had become addicted to drugs about two years ago. They also reported the Spagnesi had been sexually and romantically involved with a childhood friend for the past seven years.
Police became involved in the investigation following the tip of Spagnesi's roommate being in possession of various amounts of drugs. Prosecutors alleged he purchased the drugs both online from The Netherlands and local dealers, and the drugs were then sold to gay men attending their private group sex parties, which were also arranged online. According to TV Prato, investigators believe up to 200 men may have been involved in these parties."
Grunge: THE MESSED UP TRUTH ABOUT OPUS DEI
" ... Let's take a look at exactly what Opus Dei says they are, and what their critics and former members claim they are. Opus Dei says that they're essentially an organization that provides guidelines on how Christian laypeople can live "a life fully consistent with their faith, in the middle of ordinary circumstances of their lives." That involves things like "divine filiation," embracing Christian values like "charity, patience, humility, diligence, integrity, [and] cheerfulness," prayer, the offering of sacrifices, and "sanctifying work," which means work that's done "ethically."
That sounds not-so-bad, but like anything involving people, it gets very complicated very quickly. Opus Dei has claimed to be different things over the years: NPR says it's currently defined as a "personal prelature," but it's also been called things like a "secular institute" and a "priestly society of common life without vows." Both laypeople and clergy are members, new members are usually recruited by existing members, and when joining Opus Dei, a contract is signed promising (in part): "with firm resolve I dedicate myself to pursue sanctity and to practice apostolate with all my energy."
Critics, however, accuse Opus Dei of being everything up to and including a right-wing cult. Take, for example, a joke published in the magazine Tablet: 'How many members of Opus Dei does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The answer is, 100... one to screw in the lightbulb, and 99 to chant, 'We are not a movement, we are not a movement.''"
" ... In the apartment, Ray forced his charges to listen to his favorite music, like Neil Young and The Who, telling them the songs had "magic powers." He advised Isabella that her birth control pills were making her depressed and complained that the underage girls living with him weren't washing their genitals properly.
"You wouldn't believe how many women hate, hate their vaginas," Ray told Levin, before launching into a lecture about the best lubricants for masturbation and the importance of having sex in public.
People are so negative about the word 'brainwashing.' I don't see what's wrong with it. That is what I'm doing. I'm washing your brains.
"It'll be good for you," he told Levin. "It can be with anyone."
But Ray would explode at the smallest perceived betrayal, like the time one of his kitchen pans had a mysterious scratch.
"You scraped it on purpose, as hard as you could?" Ray screamed at Levin. "What were you thinking about? Mommy and Daddy?"
The threats became more ominous.
"I see you, Danny," Ray told him one time. "I know when you say something against me, when you doubt me, when you fear me. I see it. I see your fear."
Within just a year of moving in, Levin already wanted to leave, but he worried that Ray wasn't bluffing and really did have powerful friends.
Once, when he was chauffeuring Ray around Manhattan and their path was blocked by a parade route, the older man called over a police officer and whispered something — and suddenly they were waved through."
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