Showing posts with label Buddhafield. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Buddhafield. Show all posts

Oct 27, 2021

25 Years In A Cult: Former Follower Draws Readers Into Disciple Mindset

The Followers: “Holy Hell” and the Disciples of Narcissistic Leaders: How My Years in a Notorious Cult Parallel Today’s Cultural Mania
Wednesday, 27 October 2021, 8:58 am

Press Release: Ascot Media

Austin, TX, October 26, 2021 — Radhia Gleis didn’t wake up one day and decide to join a cult. That’s not how it happens, she said.

“It has nothing to do with intelligence or education,” she explained in a recent interview. “It has to do with being in the right (or wrong) place at the wrong time when you’re in a state of searching for something, and someone comes along who meets that need.”

Her powerful new book, The Followers: “Holy Hell” and the Disciples of Narcissistic Leaders: How My Years in a Notorious Cult Parallel Today’s Cultural Mania, articulates the complexity of how she fell under the influence of the charismatic leader of the Buddha-field cult. The Holy Hell reference in the book’s title is a nod to the 2016 Buddha-field cult documentary, in which Gleis appears.

A nutritionist, biochemical analyst and educator, Gleis says her post-traumatic stress, forever entombed in her psyche, is repeatedly triggered by the characteristics of current political and cultural leaders, prompting her to explore her past decisions through a much broader lens that sheds light on the blind spots — and dangers — of groupthink.

The Followers lays the groundwork by skimming Gleis’ upbringing in Hollywood and tracing the steps of her life when, at age 14, she began to crave a deeper sense of spirituality. She spent the next 12 years searching for nirvana, and at age 26, she found what she thought she had been searching for. Gleis draws strong parallels between her devotion to a cult leader — an authority — whose damaging behavior and influence she willfully ignored, and the followers of other narcissistic authorities. She goes into detail about the characteristics of narcissists and explains the “feedback loop” that sustains the disciple-narcissist dynamic.

Gleis weaves together her personal experiences with reflections on a number of thought-provoking topics, including the search for a higher truth, cults, groupthink and mind control, authoritarian leaders, malignant narcissistic personality disorder and sociopathy, the American schism, and how an intelligent, well-educated person may find herself under the control of a narcissistic sociopath.

Author Radhia Gleis has been a Certified Clinical Nutritionist, CCN, MEd. biochemical analyst and educator for over 33 years. She has appeared as a featured guest on numerous radio and television shows including Fox News, Austin. She hosted The Health Revolution and Let’s Get Healthy on Talk 1370 AM, KLBJ, and The Wellness Connection podcast on Voice America. She was the host and executive producer of three YouTube series: Wake up America; How the Body Works; and The Natural Way. She was featured in the internationally viewed movie, Holy Hell, which was broadcast on CNN and named one of Sundance Film Festival’s and Netflix’s top 10 documentaries. It can now be viewed on Amazon Prime.

For more information, please visit www.radhiagleis.com, or follow the author on Twitter (@radhia_gleis).

The Followers: “Holy Hell” and the Disciples of Narcissistic Leaders: How My Years in a Notorious Cult Parallel Today’s Cultural Mania

Publisher: Sage Card Publishing

ISBN-10: 1737125803

ISBN-13: 978-1737125808

Available from Amazon.com, BN.com and Audible.com

Oct 8, 2021

CultNEWS101 Articles: 10/8/2021(Buddha Field, Documentary, Spiritual Abuse, Beatles, Maharishi, India, Conspiracy Theories)

Buddha Field, Documentary, Spiritual Abuse, Beatles, Maharishi, India, Conspiracy Theories

California News Times: Inside 'cult for beautiful people' where 'monster' guru 'raped disciples' who compare him to 'Hitler' in new doc
"The horrifying reality of the lives of people "manipulated" to participate in the "cult for beautiful people" is a new documentary, as the disciples claim to have been raped by the "monster" guru. It was revealed in.

As leader Jamie Gomez provided followers with a healthy lifestyle away from sex and drugs, what started with a group of 15 quickly surged to more than 150.

However, former members of the cult (known as the Buddha Field) made disturbing claims about the progress of the group-some claim they were molested by Gomez, who was likened to "Hitler."

The horrifying claim was shared in a new documentary, Holy Hell. There, filmmaker Will Allen talks about his experience with the cult.

He claims that he and others have spent years on sexual abuse-Gomez denies this."

"In my mid-20s, I joined a spiritually uncharitable Christian sect and became spiritually harsh myself, mostly toward my own family. Of course, I didn't know this at the time.

I wouldn't say I was in a cult, but I would say that my first pastor who led the church where I gave my life to the Lord, where I was baptized, and where I first became an official church member had some very cultish leanings that were accepted and even magnified by this particular brand of Christianity.

Prior to joining this church, the weight of my sinful choices became heavier and heavier on my shoulders. In Christian speak, I was coming to "the end of myself," a place where I turned from my self-destructive ways toward God. When I finally yielded my life to him, God began to heal me and set me free from that past, and he used this pastor and faith family to do so.

This season was full of loving fervor toward God, toward the people in the church I belonged to, and toward my pastor in particular. I would often counsel with him and when he spoke, it was like through his words and his counsel, God parted the Red Sea of my jumbled mind and deposited his truth on that dry ground to reform my thoughts.

Not having been raised in a church, I found all of this so healing, so freeing, and so beautiful.

Then, this pastor began a radio show, which he was going to use as a medium to share his biblical view of the world — mostly in the political arena. By starting this radio show, I guess he thought he was going to be the next Rush Limbaugh, only with a Christian flair.

I loved listening to it at first, and while I can't remember any, I'm sure he made some brilliant points. I even used my talents as a writer to craft a press release about his new show's launch to be sent to the local media.

But in time, his words grew coarser toward "those" people: gays, Democrats, non-Christians, etc. So, my words became coarser when talking about "them," too. His self-righteousness grew in the pulpit. So, my self-righteousness grew in my relationships with others. His way of being a Christian became the best and only way. So, by following him and his manner, I was showing the world the best and only way to be a Christian."a
"The memory of the Beatles' relationship with India is revived in this engaging documentary, and if there isn't much really new here, it's still salutary to be reminded of how these four young men – and it's amazing to remember that they were only in their 20s, as Craig Brown's book One Two Three Four points out – used their colossal influence, greater than any politician or movie star or religious leader, to direct the world's attention to India, a country which until then had been opaque for many in the west.

The film amusingly notes that, before this, India had been just as crazed with western Beatlemania as anyone else, with a popular Beatles-style band called the Savages, and Shammi Kapoor bopping around wearing a Beatles wig in Bhappi Sonie's 1965 film Janwar.

George Harrison visited India in 1966 to take sitar lessons from Ravi Shankar, and his humility and creative curiosity is still moving. In 1968, all four Beatles (Ringo Starr carrying a second suitcase full of tins of Heinz baked beans) went to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's ashram in Rishikesh in the foothills of the Himalayas, where they earnestly pursued transcendental meditation, experienced a summer of spiritual love and wound up composing most of the songs on the White Album."

".... Mike Kropveld, the founder and director of the Montreal-based non-profit organisation Info-Secte and who once helped rescue a friend from a religious sect, launched a new support group for people with friends, spouses or family members who have become extreme proponents of conspiracy theories and other fringe beliefs or groups.   

"Emotionally and psychologically, these situations can be very draining for a family member and they need to talk with people who are in similar situations," he said. "The pandemic just increased the need because we got more and more calls."

The support group includes volunteer psychologists and other healthcare professionals. Their aim is to help families and friends deal with what they often feel is a "hopeless" situation. 

"Bringing someone back to how they were before is a long process, if at all possible," Kropveld said, noting the conspiracy theorists are so "emotionally tied" to their beliefs that any attempt to try to prove them wrong is likely to backfire and may instead aggravate the situation."


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Sep 4, 2018


Chris Johnston is a former member of the Buddhafield cult, the subject of the 2016 documentary film, 'Holy Hell'. After leaving, Chris went on to study cults and religious movements, attempting to make sense of what he'd been through. In this interview he sheds light on what happened at Buddhafield and what factors caused him to be drawn into an abusive relationship with a man proclaiming to be a guru.

Chris' insights are valuable for anyone seeking to better understand the phenomenon of cults and appeal of authoritarian leaders. They are also invaluable in addressing the question of how do we move beyond these types of relationships in our personal lives, spiritual groups and wider society.

Holy Hell website - http://www.holyhellthedocumentary.com/

https://youtu.be/TRbiHdTYSfI

Nov 10, 2016

Cult or Commune? How Utopian Communities Turn Dangerous


From religious factions of the 1840s to the Buddahfield community profiled in this year's 'Holy Hell,' a look at how a community can cross a line

Rolling Stone
November 10, 2016
By Elizabeth Yuko

Watch Video

In 1985, 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker Will Allen joined a community called Buddhafield at the suggestion of his sister, after his family didn't accept him when he came out as gay. For 22 years, Allen documented life inside the cult as their videographer. The resulting 35 hours of footage comprises the basis of the documentary Holy Hell, which provides audiences with an intimate look at life inside this non-traditional community.

In the beginning, at least, it appeared that Buddhafield was attempting to revive the 19th-century concept of a Utopian community: a group of people living together working towards enlightenment. The leader, Michel Rostand, kept his followers focused on healthy living (no alcohol, drugs, caffeine or red meat, along with mandatory exercise), abstaining from sex and meditating frequently.

The group appeared to be a positive force on its members – yet the documentary tells a story of sexual, psychological and emotional abuse that allegedly took place behind-the-scenes at Buddhafield. On the surface, it looked like Allen found his place in a group of happy, healthy, like-minded individuals – but underneath, the community had problematic secrets.

There have been no shortage of similar communities in America that came together under shared beliefs and the goal of enlightenment – yet few end up the subject of high-budget exposés. So what's the difference between a group of people that live and work together to achieve a certain standard of physical, mental and spiritual well-being, and a full-fledged cult? Some, like the Shakers or the Oneida Community, were focused on a specific religion, doctrine or set of morals, while others made health the primary draw, with significant overlapping interests. The moral component to these groups is significant – it goes beyond telling people how to eat or dress, but imposes a code of ethics on a group of willing participants, in many cases, without ties to a specific religion.

"Throughout history and across the world, pockets of people have organized because their desires were not accessible through dominant cultural, economic and social models," explains Adam Szetela, an assistant professor in the liberal arts department at Berklee College of Music whose research focuses on utopian ideals in 19th- and 20th-century American literature and culture. "I think communes will continue for this reason."

Yet communes, for many, evoke the potential for groups to become more controlling and sinister in nature. Many of the most notorious cults in America started in the mid-20th century yet remain vividly in the public consciousness because of their bizarre and sometimes violent practices. These groups originated as offshoots of established religions or were influenced by social and civil movements. For example the Branch Davidians and the Children of God – formed in 1955 and 1968, respectively – both have their roots in Christianity, but because of deceptive and charismatic leaders, they devolved into cults. In 1993, more than 80 people died during the Branch Davidians' standoff with the FBI in Waco, Texas, and the Children of God – also known as the Family – not only believed having sex with children was permissible, they claimed it was a divine right. Other cults like the Manson Family and the Peoples Temple – infamous for the Jonestown massacre of 1978 which left 909 people dead – attracted members based on social and cultural beliefs. In the case of the Manson Family, it was the fringe idea of inciting a race war, while the People's Temple drew more mainstream followers as a progressive organization advocating for civil rights.

According to psychologist and rehabilitation expert Steven Hassan – himself a former member of a cult-like community – there are four important elements of mind control to consider when attempting to determine whether a group can be considered a cult. Known as the BITE Model, it takes into account the group's control of an individual's behavior, intellect, thoughts and emotions (hence BITE) and can be applied to anything from religions to terrorism organizations to cults.

The BITE model includes something Hassan calls the Influence Continuum, providing examples of healthy and constructive – and unhealthy and destructive – actions for individuals, leaders, organizations and relationships. The continuum indicates that a person free from influence has an authentic self, capable of critical thinking, free will and creativity. On the other end of the spectrum is an individual with a false identity whose actions are motivated by fear, guilt and obedience.

The Influence Continuum and BITE Model can be applied to any situation – including Buddhafield – to determine the extent of mind control and whether the group can be considered a cult. Holy Hell documents Allen's experiences and features testimony from many former Buddhafield members who reveal that behind the clean living and meditation, all the signs indicating that they were in a cult were there: members taking on new names and identities on Rostand's insistence, "love" conditional upon following his strict doctrine, the constant fear that they would never receive highest level of enlightenment ("The Knowing") and absolute dependence on and obedience of their leader.

As a former member of the Unification Church – also known as "Moonies" after the founder Sun Myung Moon – Hassan has firsthand experience with the thought process behind both joining and ultimately leaving a closed community.

"When I first had [an intervention addressing his membership in the Moonies] it woke me up from my fanatical methods and I wanted to understand what happened to me," he says.

When he was finally pulled out of the organization, Hassan explains, he wanted to understand what happened to him. "So I started going to all the experts on brainwashing, reading what they wrote and talking to them,” he says. “I went through a many-year process of piecing together what I knew was going on inside the Moonies."

During more than 40 years of cult-awareness activism, Hassan authored several books on the subject of cults and founded the Freedom of Mind Resource Center Inc., a human rights-based organization specializing in counseling, publishing materials exposing abuses of undue influence and promoting consumer awareness.

Yet it's not necessarily just cults that attract people in search of guidance, like Allen and Hassan. Disillusioned at 21, Sara Benincasa found herself drawn to a job at a spiritual retreat in eastern Pennsylvania that aims to combine modern influences with classical tradition and world cultures. Like many young people, Benincasa – now a 36-year-old writer and comedian – was under the impression that surrounding herself with the right people and ideas could help her find direction in her life.

"I thought enlightenment could be found in a rural area on a farm owned by white people with trust funds who took on spirituality that wasn't part of their culture," she says. Following challenges with her mental health, the lure of working someplace that provided "some kind of magical peace" was quite appealing to her.

Benincasa, who wrote about her experience at a spiritual retreat she referred to as the “Blessed Sanctuary” in her 2012 memoir Agorafabulous, says her former place of employment differs from a cult in several ways, including the fact that there are no financial sacrifices or other restrictions on one's participation in conventional life. However, she notes that a group doesn't necessarily need to be considered a cult to be harmful.

"Just because something is a religious retreat center that doesn't engage in abusive practice doesn't necessarily mean that it's a great place," Benincasa says. "When you go to a place that promises some kind of peace, that's a really dangerous promise to make because everyone's peace is different. They can promise you quiet and uninterrupted time, but they can't promise you peace or happiness."

"No matter how shiny the brochure is, when you get to a place that's a spiritual retreat center, it's inevitably run by a real human being and there are political mechanisms that are happening. It's not people just sitting on hilltop in the sunshine," Benincasa adds.

Those drawn to these idealistic communities typically enter with the best of intentions. "It's abnormal for young people not to want to make the world a better place," Hassan says. "But the vast majority of the public, when watching cult documentaries think, 'What's wrong with these people? Why couldn't they see?'"

The 1840s was a heyday of American utopian communities – more than 80 were founded in that decade alone, including the Brook Farm Community, which existed in Massachusetts from 1841 to 1847, Fruitlands, formed in 1843, and the Oneida Community, which lasted from 1848 to 1880. Reacting to the Industrial Revolution, these groups attempted to create ideal economic and moral societies through communal living, sharing labor to build more egalitarian social structures – though some were more successful than others. Fruitlands, built on the tenet of eating only foods grown on trees or vines, only lasted seven months because of the lack of food; the Oneida Community, however, lasted for 32 years and still has a presence in the form of the tableware manufacturing company.

"Many of the communes of the 19th-century, especially in the tradition of transcendentalism, arose as responses to rapid industrialization and a deepening rift between people and the natural world, as well as between people and people," Szetela, the Berklee professor, explains.

These early examples, however, are not necessarily cults. Applying Hassan's Influence Continuum and BITE Model, it is evident that groups like the Brook Farm and Oneida Communities don't fit into this category. While they may exhibit some types of behavioral control – including regulating an individual’s physical reality and imposing rigid rules and regulations – these groups typically do not include other crucial cult components, like thought and emotional control. In fact, some of these utopian communities disbanded as a direct results of the lack of leadership – a key component of a cult. The linchpin of Buddhafield, however, was the authoritarian leadership of Rostand.

For Hassan, the difference comes down to undue influence and informed consent: "Part of what I'm trying to say to folks is don't be constrained. Listen to your conscience. Listen to your critical thoughts. If there's a dissonance between you and strangers, go with you."



http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/features/cult-or-commune-how-utopian-communities-turn-dangerous-w449034

Sep 1, 2016

TV Program - Holy Hell

September 1, 2016 at 9 p.m. ET

CNN – Holy Hell


"Holy Hell" reveals an intimate, never-before-seen world inside Buddhafield, a mysterious spiritual sect that filmmaker Will Allen joined and became its unofficial documentarian for 22 years.

 

http://www.cnn.com/shows/cnn-films-holy-hell

 

Aug 27, 2016

The Man Who Turned Beauty into an Actual Cult


Documentary takes viewers inside the place called Buddhafield.

Glenn Garvin
August 26, 2016

Holy Hell. CNN.
Thursday, September 1, 9 p.m.

One man's cult is another man's religion. I remember listening with amusement some years back to an argument between a member of Rev. Moon's Unification Church and a rather strident Christian critic who was fulminating on the obvious absurdity of the reverend's (ambiguous) claim to be the messiah. Why would God, the man snapped, choose a peasant from a remote Korean mountainside village as his messenger? Replied the Moon follower, wide-eyed: "You mean, instead of an illiterate Palestinian carpenter?"

So I'm always dubious about the loose use of the word "cults," and even more so about their supposed dangers. As a second-generation atheist, it's not so obvious to me why, say, Rev. Moon's communal group homes are any more sinister than cloistered Catholic monasteries.

I say all that so you'll know that when I tell you that Holy Hell, a documentary about a creepily eccentric spiritual community led by an extra from Rosemary's Baby, is aberrantly fascinating and more than a bit unsettling, I'm not just weirded out by the unfamiliar rituals of an off-brand religion. Buddhafield, as the group is called, has left a trail of disillusioned followers with broken hearts and busted bank accounts in its churning wake.

One of them is Will Allen, the writer and director of Holy Hell, which has been kicking around the festival circuit this year and gets its first mass exposure next week on CNN. Allen spent 22 years as Buddhafield's house videographer and propagandist before breaking away in 2007, taking with him countless hours of revealing footage.

Allen, a recent film-school grad trying to break into the movie business, was introduced to Buddhafield by a sister who bumped into some of the followers in West Hollywood in the mid-80s. They didn't have any of the standard cult accoutrements—no shaved heads or flowing robes or saffron incense. In fact, they were mostly socially conventional and startlingly attractive (that, it would turn out, was not by chance) and formed a lively, funny crowd. "Constantly, your soul was being fed with love and inspiration and awe," wistfully recalls another new recruit of the day.

Buddhafield's leader was an elfin former ballet dancer and bit-role actor—you can see him in the crowd at that Satanist party at the end of Rosemary's Baby—who called himself Michel. Frequently clad in little more than a Speedo, striking dramatic poses and leveling smoky gazes apparently stolen from old Valentino movies while he spoke in an intriguing accent of indeterminate national origin, he preached a blend of Buddhism, Hinduism, and New Age mysticism that the West Hollywood crowd found irresistible. ("His energy was still, and I thought, 'What a beautiful man,'" explains one follower in the fractured argot of the spiritually overdosed.)

Pretty soon they'd all moved into a communal setting from which radio, TV, and sex were banned. (And especially the wages of sex; pregnant women either had to undergo abortions or leave the group.) Compulsory hypnotherapy, in which the Buddhafielders had to disclose their most intimate secrets, took place once a week, at $50 a pop.

"Service" was required, too, especially to Michel, who needed drivers, helpers and, after a while, somebody to carry his throne, literally. What service was directed outside the group itself was often hilariously misconceived. One acolyte who hadn't yet moved in with the group recounts spending hours creating artistic fruit salad renditions of scenes like The Last Supper for his roommate, only to discover the guy was simply shoveling them into a blender for smoothies without so much as a glance.

The most assiduous of Michel's devotees were invited to undergo The Knowing, which was described as "God revealed to you in its purest form." Which, the elite few who experienced it told their envious colleagues, involved a lot of changing shapes and colors, as if God were the toner running the light show at the Fillmore West. He also sounded like a mean SOB. When Michel offered Allen a chance at The Knowing, he suggested snapping up the offer because "he had been up all night, fighting with God, fighting for my life." God, it seemed, had Allen penciled in for a fatal accident instead of an epiphany.

Allen, impressed, went ahead. And this is the only point at which Holy Hell seems to blink. "There was no denying the beauty I was experiencing," Allen recounts cryptically. "But I was overwhelmed that too much was being asked of me, and I was getting in too deep." What exactly that means is left unsaid, though perhaps there's a clue later in the film.

When angry parents began pressing for an investigation of Buddhafield (members had been ordered to "detach" from their families), Michel went underground, then surfaced again to summon his followers to Austin. There the reconstituted group got weirder and weirder, building—and tearing down, and rebuilding, several times, at Michel's whim—a huge theater for opulently staged ballets that were rehearsed for a year at a stretch, then performed just once, and only seen by the Buddhafielders themselves.

Meanwhile, as Michel staged a new recruitment drive, it became apparent that the reason so many members looked like Hollywood starlets was that they were chosen, in large part, for their looks. Those who fell short of the mark were encouraged to get plastic surgery—and it was soon obvious that Michel was using them to test-drive the procedures before undergoing them himself.

It was in Austin that the group's facade cracked in the face of emails circulated by dissidents. Their most damaging disclosure was that the Buddhafield ban on sex didn't apply to Michel himself, who was sleeping with several of the male members, none of whom knew about the others. The revelation was shattering far beyond Michel's obvious hypocrisy: Several of his paramours were not gay and consented to sex with him only because they thought it signified a special relationship with their leader.

"I resisted, and I didn't want to be with him, and I would cry sometimes," says one of the men in Holy Hell, recalling an oft-repeated conversation in which Michel would counter his objections, "It's about your childhood, who are you resisting?" The man's reply—"I'm resisting you, I don't want to have sex with you"—would simply be parried once again, "No, no, let's go back to your childhood... ."

"He was masterful at getting what he wanted," the follower says. "And somehow after this process I would be bowing at his feet, saying, 'Oh my God, thank you, how do you always bring me back to this beautiful place?' And I'd get fucked again."

Accounts like this one abound in the latter part of Holy Hell as it describes Buddhafield's implosion in the face of the sexual disclosures. (Including one from Allen, who also admits to sleeping with Michel, perhaps what he was referring to as the high price of The Knowing.) Other flim-flammeries ran the gamut from fake medical miracles to brutal financial exploitation. One woman remembers leaving the group after two decades with just $45 to her name and the feeling that "I was dropping through this trap door, it was black and there was no bottom."

The word "abuse" is freely used. And even even the most hard-headed (or, if you prefer, -hearted) rationalist is likely to feel some sympathy for these shattered people, and some resentment toward a man who exploited their devotion.

But breaking somebody's heart is not the same thing as breaking his bones, at least not legally. If cajoling reluctant sexual partners with false pledges of exclusivity were a violation of the law, every singles bar in North America would have a police padlock on the front door.

All the members of Buddhafield were adults, and they were mostly well-educated. They were never held against their will—quite the opposite. Anybody who didn't accept Michel's quirky and demanding doctrines was asked to leave. The truly alarming question at the dark heart of Holy Hell is why, for so many of his flock, remaining with an obviously vainglorious and exploitative charlatan was preferable to the unthinkable alternative of leaving. Why does charisma so often trump common sense? It's a question that echoes well beyond the territory of saffron incense and shaven heads, or even smoky stares and Speedo struts.

http://reason.com/archives/2016/08/26/the-man-who-turned-beauty-into-an-actual

Aug 18, 2016

Movie review: ‘Holy Hell’ a suspenseful documentary on cult


ROBERT ABELE
Los Angeles Times
August 18, 2016

Part expose, part catharsis and all disturbing, “Holy Hell” is filmmaker Will Allen’s suspenseful documentary about his and others’ experiences in the Buddhafield, a spiritual cult that dominated more than 20 years of his life.

Young, gay and searching, Allen happened upon a group in West Hollywood that romped in fields, lived cleanly, helped others and sought personal freedom. They followed the laying-on-of-hands guidance espoused by a serenely authoritative, tanned and flamboyant ex-actor/dancer everyone called the Teacher.

But what started as an ecstatic mass hug with like-minded devotees turned sour decades later in an isolated, self-built compound in Austin, Texas, over ugly secrets regarding their guru, and eventually a reckoning (if not exactly closure). That Allen was the de facto videographer all this time means we get a rare glimpse into the day-to-day events of a sequestered, controlled group of hungry souls, many of whom later spoke to Allen on camera, including his two sisters, who were also members.

It’s not a complete journalistic picture, unfortunately, and it’s ham-fistedly structured to withhold information for maximum dramatic impact. But that impact, as predictable as it is, hits hard. What’s also apparent is that Allen — who tended to the Teacher like a slave — isn’t completely free of the Buddhafield’s bearing on his psyche, which lends “Holy Hell” and its unburdening a genuinely melancholy tone. At the very least, it offers up one of the year’s most mesmerizing, shiver-inducing screen figures in the Teacher, a.k.a. Michel, a.k.a. Andreas, a preening satyr with a cologne model’s opaque intensity.

HOLY HELL
☆☆☆☆ out of 5

Cast: Will Allen, Amy Allen, Cristala Allen, Gina Allen, Jennifer Baca.

Director: Will Allen.
Running time: 1:43.

http://www.theolympian.com/entertainment/movies-news-reviews/article95464972.html

Aug 15, 2016

Holy Hell Deftly Examines The Allure Of A California Religious Cult – A Review

Erik Amaya
August 15, 2016

Jonathan Rich writes for Bleeding Cool …

Discussing religion with someone who is even vaguely devout is often the same as discussing someone else’s children: if you have anything less than flattering to say it is often best left unspoken as no one wants to hear their progeny is ugly, dumb, mean-spirited or even slightly misguided.

The topic of religion is clearly not off the table for filmmaker Will Allen, whose documentary Holy Hell examines the twenty-two years he was a member of a West Hollywood group known as The Buddhafield; as well as the physical and mental abuse he received under the spiritual guidance of a speedo-wearing hypnotherapist leading followers under the pseudonym Michel.

Allen became the media manager/propaganda producer for the group shortly after his induction in 1991, and as such he had access to the video archives he personally curated for the group during his time there. At first he found acceptance in the company of the welcoming hippies focused on doing service in their community between water meditation, yoga sessions and ballet performances with their enigmatic and androgynous leader.

But suspicions begin to creep in after Michel asks Allen to become his personal masseur and not engage in any relationships with other members of the group.

As Allen found himself more and more embedded along with other members pursuing a spiritual path referred to as “the knowing,” he notices Michel becoming increasingly drunk on his self-proclaimed divine power. He even defends the idiosyncrasies of his ‘Master’ when a former member makes damning claims against the group which prompts an investigation by the FBI and later relocation to a commune in Austin, TX.

The story is told through Allen’s archival footage and recent interviews with the documentarian’s friends and family members about their experiences with the group before, during, and after his departure.

One former Buddhafield member explains his attraction to the sect when he says
“We take on their beliefs as truth; the better you feel the more you are committed and that’s what keeps you there.” The honesty displayed by those on the screen sharing their experiences is commendable.

The same is true of the bravery with which Allen tells the personal story of his indoctrination, sublimation, separation from — and ultimately confrontation with — what he and his friends so deeply once loved, trusted, and believed.

Holy Hell delivers on its promise to tell both a story about the high times and the absolute depravity of those who fell under the spell of a manipulative pseudo messiah. The final sequence showing members who still believe and those who have moved beyond their time in the cult is simultaneously uplifting and demoralizing; though Allen seems to have nothing but compassion for all who survived to help tell the tale. Be sure to stay through the end credits to find out what life after the Buddhafield held for a number of participants who survived the experience.

Holy Hell
Directed by Will Allen
Running time: 142 minutes
Grade: B+; unflinchingly honest documentary of what it means to blindly believe what you are told by someone with alternative spiritual motives.

Jonathan Rich is a freelance journalist, high school educator, and self-professed comic book nerd working in the Blue Ridge Mountains of western North Carolina. He writes about entertainment and pop culture for various print and web publications, including bleedingcool.com.

Jun 3, 2016

How to Escape From a Cult in the 21st Century

The new documentary Holy Hell offers an unprecedented view of 20 years inside the Buddhafield religious group. We talked with apostates from Buddhafield to find out why they're still grateful for a "cult" experience.

Pacific Standard
Michael Agresta
June 3, 2016

Toward the end of Will Allen's new autobiographical documentary Holy Hell, Danielle Lefemine, his friend and longtime associate in the controversial Buddhafield religious group, reflects on the 20-odd years of history related by the film and characterizes her experience in stark terms. "I was brainwashed," Lefemine tells the camera. "I was in a cult."

Over the course of its first hour, Holy Hell — released last Friday in New York and Los Angeles — has pointedly avoided these charged words. Rather than an exercise in casting judgment, Allen has built his film around unprecedented access to the inner workings of a secretive religious community: As the Buddhafield's unofficial videographer for more than two decades, Allen documented the group's evolution from an idyllic experiment in communal living and meditation practice in 1980s Santa Monica to a paranoid gang of guru-worshipping disciples in 1990s Austin. When the group's charismatic leader, then known as Andreas, was caught in a sexual abuse scandal in the mid-2000s, many longtime members, including Allen and Lefemine, exited the group. Only in the film's final chapter, describing their decision to leave the Buddhafield, do they use words like "cult" and "brainwash."

It's common for apostates to toss around such terms when discussing their past affiliations, but most sociologists now agree that "cult" represents a potentially dangerous designation. Contemporary debate over the term dates at least to the 1970s, with the rise of Reverend Sun Myung Moon's Unification Church. On one side were self-appointed experts from the so-called anti-cult movement, who warned parents and young people about the dangers of spiritual leaders who bewitched impressionable followers into brainwashed servitude. On the other side were more careful academics who viewed the cult panic as dangerous both to the lives of adherents and to the constitutional tradition of free exercise of religion.

These tensions reached their zenith after the Federal Bureau of Investigation siege and massacre at the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas, in 1993. Many scholarly observers blamed the tragedy on anti-cult activists, who had propagated the widespread vilification and dehumanization of Branch Davidians, and some of whom were advising the FBI. "After the Branch Davidian fiasco, people realized that the 'cult' label objectified groups in a way that made violence more possible," says Diane Winston, the Knight Center Chair in Media & Religion at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism, who studies the way religions are discussed in the public sphere.

To a large extent, the religious freedom-oriented academics won the late-20th-century battle of ideas over the "cult" label. Today, the preferred term is NRM, or new religious movement. Anti-NRM vigilante groups like Cult Awareness Network no longer threaten to kidnap adherents and forcibly "deprogram" them in hotel rooms and other extrajudicial locales, as they did from the late '70s to the mid-'90s. For a while, even some journalists got the memo. "Groups that are controversial still get referred to as cults, but good journalists shy away from it now," says David Bromley, a professor of sociology at Virginia Commonwealth University and perhaps the country's foremost expert on how people exit NRMs.

Journalists haven't exactly been shying away from the term in their coverage of Holy Hell, however. The film has been called an "exposé of a Californian cult" and "a textbook case of how a cult operates." Perhaps the first widely disseminated apostate documentary to include extensive, behind-closed-doors footage from within a secretive religious group, Allen's film is reviving a long-dormant public conversation about NRMs and manipulative psychological techniques. Along with that conversation comes a new interrogation of words like "cult" and "brainwash," words ready to be re-discovered and re-litigated by a new generation.

Allen and the other Buddhafield apostates who appear in Holy Helltake a varied approach, appropriating "cult" while eschewing the demonization and objectification of NRM members that typically go along with it. "I like the term 'cult' simply because it's so irreverent," Allen said by phone from Los Angeles. "We never would have used it. It makes us laugh at ourselves. But I think the word has to be re-defined." He and his friends have little charitable to say about the anti-cult movement, which threatened their lives and liberty in the early '90s, but they're serious about wanting to broaden popular understanding and empathy for what goes on inside an NRM, even a fringy, dishonestly led, abusive one like the Buddhafield. As a result, Holy Hell is a document of fascinating contradictions. It's an old-school anti-cult exposé crossed with an open-minded, 21st-century effort to destigmatize individual NRM members; it's also a thoughtful re-invention of the cult-apostate narrative in the exhibitionist tradition of reality television. In the end, Holy Hell is perhaps the fullest, most human view we've ever had of life inside an NRM — and the ever-complicated business of getting out of one.

According to sociological consensus, people who leave NRMs typically join a group that opposes their former group — called an "oppositional coalition" — and develop a narrative that suits both their new ties and individual needs. In the first essay of a 1998 collection of sociological studies about NRMs called The Politics of Religious Apostasy, Bromley calls this storytelling the "captivity narrative." In Bromley's foundational account, NRM leave-takers emphasize that they "were innocently or naively operating in what they had every reason to believe was a normal, secure social site." Apostates will often claim they were "subjected to overpowering subversive techniques," e.g. brainwashing, and endured subjugation and humiliation until they ultimately escaped or were rescued. Leave-takers will vigorously resist any "ambivalence" or "residual attraction" toward their NRM once they've departed the group — those expressions could be seen as evidence of untrustworthiness, according to Bromley — and conclude by issuing a public warning about the dangers of membership. It's a straightforward script.

This after-school-special version of NRM membership will be familiar to anyone who came of age before the turn of the millennium. The 1981 fiction film Ticket to Heaven, about a young schoolteacher who attends a training camp for an NRM and becomes brainwashed, is a classic of this genre: The happy ending comes only when he is kidnapped by anti-cult types and deprogrammed. But research doesn't support the Pied Piper-like captivity narrative popularized in the 1980s and '90s. "At that point in time, many people believed that, if someone entered into a cult-like group, if they were deprived of sleep and the food they received was monotonous and bland, if they were sexually tempted and argued and bullied into obedience, that their minds would snap and they'd become brainwashed cult members, glassy-eyed, easily led," Winston says. "Since then, people who study human behavior have come to the conclusion that brainwashing is not that simple."

Holy Hell doesn't begin like a typical captivity narrative. In Allen's rendering, Buddhafield members join the group without coercion, of their own free will. Later in the film, each apostate interviewed offers extenuating reasons for why they stayed in the group too long, several laying the blame on Andreas' psychological manipulation or groupthink inertia; nevertheless, all agree that they entered the group of because they found it socially and spiritually fulfilling.

"The hardest part of the film to make was the first part, to acknowledge that we were in this and we loved this, and to make him look good," Allen says. From the beginning, Holy Hell presents the Buddhafield as spiritually ambitious, tolerant, and sexually open; one apostate refers to it wistfully as "the booty field." Everyone in the group, it's also worth noting, is extremely attractive — a recruitment philosophy that Allen attributes to Andreas' genius for cultivating "social proof" — the notion that appearing happy, popular, and sexy confers legitimacy to an otherwise-controversial leader or group. "If he has a lot of beautiful people around him who support him, that keeps him safe," Allen says. Another way Andreas protected himself was by frequently changing his name. In the group's early days in Los Angeles, he went by Michel; recently, re-settled in Honolulu, he has adopted the name Reyji, or "god-king."

Allen doesn't like the term "brainwash," in part because he believes it delegitimizes the hard work of daily meditation and ego suppression that he and other Buddhafield apostates still look back on with pride. "We thought of it as a cleansing of our brain," Allen says. "We thought we were seeing things in a different way, that it was healthy. And it is healthy — for a semester, in a controlled environment, with a qualified teacher, with checks and balances. We weren't doing that."

The group followed an ad hoc program of spiritual exercises designed by Andreas to help adherents experience direct communion with the divine. Initially, much of it was borrowed from the teachings of Maharaji, an Indian guru who developed a large American following, known as "premies," in the 1970s, while other Buddhafield ego-shedding exercises came from theater training. Holy Hell holds onto a sense of group spiritual achievement even through the film's darker passages. Ex-Buddhafield members seem more likely to look back on their spiritual work as an impressive achievement that nonetheless left them vulnerable to Andreas' predations than to recall it as a scam and a fraud.

"We were like the Navy SEALs of spiritual discipline," Radhia Gleis, a Buddhafield member who was with the group for over two decades, says over green curry when we meet one evening in May in a suburban Austin shopping mall.

In its second half, the film conforms better with Bromley's archetypal captivity narrative. For instance, Holy Hell directly confronts the various ways in which members were humiliated. Apostates recall sexual dimensions to "karma cleansing" sessions, weekly one-on-one meetings between Andreas and his adherents, during which they were encouraged to drop all defenses and confess their deepest secrets. Recorded audio from these sessions suggests Andreas groomed straight men for sexual encounters, and multiple apostates testify on camera that Andreas manipulated them into unwanted sex. Those and other accusations recall Bromley's description of "overpowering subversive techniques." "The dude was a hypnotherapist," Gleis says. "He had his talons in our psyche every week."

But Holy Hell doesn't dwell on members' powerlessness, and when I speak with ex-Buddhafield members about the film's more ominous moments, they tell me their aim wasn't to disown their actions, but rather to call out Andreas' bad-faith mentoring. Gleis feels deeply betrayed by Andreas, even though he never asked her for sexual favors. "The real abuse is in the cleansing. That's the real intimacy," she says. "That's where you shared every dark deep secret. He didn't use it against me much, but sometimes he would." Though Gleis admits that Andreas' spiritual counseling helped her through difficult periods in her life, she has come to the conclusion that he was delving into his adherents' inner lives more to enrich, titillate, and protect himself than to serve others.

For her part, Gleis flatly refuses to say she was "brainwashed." "I made decisions based on lies," she says. "But everyone was different. People came in at different levels of maturity."

The subjects of Holy Hell bring nuance to their "cult" stories. It's worth noting, though, that some held official roles so high up in the organization that their "captivity" narratives deserve special scrutiny. Both Gleis and Allen occupied exalted positions in the Buddhafield hierarchy. Gleis describes herself as the group's "consiglieri" — she was the one who managed the early-'90s legal threat from CAN that chased the Buddhafield out of California, and she purchased Andreas' Austin home, which became the group's headquarters for a decade. Allen was a key member of Andreas' "entourage," a mostly male coterie of self-described "beautiful ones" who were financially supported by the group and spent their days massaging the leader and accompanying him on Speedo-clad excursions to Austin-area beaches and swimming holes. Both Gleis and Allen admit to lying constantly — to their family members, to lower-ranking Buddhafield members, and to each other.

Gleis says that at least one other longtime Buddhafield member thinks Holy Hell goes too easy on the entourage, insulating high-ranking apostates from the sorts of criticisms levied at Andreas. Bromley's scholarship would critique this as the tension between "apostate" and "traitor" roles: Leave-takers, of course, don't want to be seen as turncoats or losers of power struggles; they want to be seen as victims. "You can't have a leader without followers," Gleis says. "I think we are all guilty of a lot of lies."

Toward the end of the film, Allen tracks down his former guru in Hawaii, where elements of the Buddhafield community have re-settled post-scandal. When he asks Andreas, on hidden camera, whether he's "being a good boy" to current members of the group, it becomes clear that the chance to expose the group, and to break it up, is a central reason why so many ex-Buddhafield members have risked public humiliation to put their faces and stories onscreen. Nevertheless, Allen says his primary artistic aim was not to raise alarm about Buddhafield.

"I would like to see a dismantling of the group and everyone waking up and being in their own power," he says. "But I did not make this movie for 100 people. I spent 20 years living for 100 people. I couldn't spend four more years for 100 people. I made this movie for everyone else."

This is where Holy Hell departs definitively from the '90s-era captivity narrative formula and creates a new model for the genre, one that can reach the mainstream. By "everyone else," Allen means the widest possible film-viewing audience: people of all ages, races, sexualities, religions, etc., most of whom will likely encounter Holy Hell not as a polemic of anti-cult advocacy but as a character-driven story of hope and disillusionment, tragedy and triumph — and a bit of an amusing freak show.

While Allen did belong to an explicitly anti-Buddhafield coalition when he first took leave of the group several years ago — Gleis refers to a period of "innies" and "outies" arguing against each other — by the time he began editing footage, that alliance had faded as apostates began to move on with their lives. By then, Allen's key organizational ties were to film-business players like the Sundance Institute, where he worked on Holy Hell as a fellow, and later Jared Leto, who became executive producer on the film.

It's no dig at Allen to note that the resulting story includes a narrative arc that follows confessional conventions established by Oprah and reality television, and that the cathartic result is a people-pleaser. (Indeed, two ex-members mentioned rumors that Leto is pursuing plans to serialize the Buddhafield story.) Over the course of the film, apostates cast their stories as journeys of seeking and overcoming, stories that unfailingly culminate in personal growth. There are moments when viewers might envy the experience described by these apostates — by the end, membership in a controversial NRM begins to sound like a vital opportunity. The so-called "cult" experience, however abusive, comes off as a liberating net benefit.

I met former Buddhafield member David Christopher on a plane from Austin to Salt Lake City in January. He wore a Holy Hell baseball cap and passed out business cards to fellow passengers traveling to the Sundance Film Festival. Later, watching the Holy Hell premiere, I'd learn that he had given up a fledgling acting career to join the Buddhafield in the mid-'90s and was now hustling to break back into the business. (All the Buddhafield apostates I spoke to were to some extent involved in the entertainment industry.)

Months later, in a quiet South Austin café, I asked Christopher whether he would call the Buddhafield a cult. "I had to re-define what that word means for me," he said. "I re-defined it in terms of: Any group or organization that tries to control your process of thinking, through any kind of guilt, coercion, or shame, may be a cult. If you think in those terms, the Catholic Church may be our biggest. But what about the NFL? What about your own family?"

"Your own family has a way of being, and you grow up in that programming, and there's a language that you use, and a lot of times your parents have an idea of what you should be, and if you want to have an independent thought that goes against that, you might be guilted or shamed because you're trying to go against the grain," Christopher continued. "That is a cult. What I often tell people is, I joined a cult to escape a cult. The cult I left was my family. I left my not-so-good programming for a programming I thought was better. And it was better, much higher. But then I had to leave that programming only to find my own authenticity and my own voice, without anybody else's conditioning. For me, that's empowerment."

Allen, on the verge of his first big film release, and Gleis, who is trying to launch a naturopathic television network, echo similar sentiments. "The first five years, I learned love and selflessness and humility," Allen says. "The next 15 years, I learned a lot of other things — the hard way. They were hard lessons to come by, but very valuable to me."

Sociologists and veterans of the Waco tragedy may wince to see Holy Hellrehabilitating the word "cult" and returning it to the headlines. But, in Allen's rendering, the term assumes a different and less dehumanizing meaning. When Lefemine says, at the end of Holy Hell, that she was in a "cult," the emphasis is not on belittling the group or re-opening the possibility of '90s-style anti-cult violence. Instead, she's spinning a tale of self-discovery, relatable to anyone who's had to make a break with an abusive family, a bad marriage, or a soul-crushing job. "I was in a cult," in her phrasing, is not substantively different from, for example, "I married a jerk." The moral of the story is a warning, but a broad one, about just how bad any group can get if you stay too long and ignore the warning signs: The Buddhafield apostates went there so you don't have to.

Gleis suggests that even Andreas/Reyji may be excited to see Holy Hell, even though the film treats him as a villain. His narcissism reflects one reason whyHoly Hell's version of the cult apostate narrative feels so much a product of our media-saturated age. "Andreas always wanted to be a star in a movie," Gleis says. "Well, you got your wish, dude. He's up there on that cross where he always wanted to be."


https://psmag.com/how-to-escape-from-a-cult-in-the-21st-century-d3778a8f7b30#.wik0uiqeg

Apr 27, 2016

‘Holy Hell’ Trailer: Jared Leto-Produced Documentary Goes Deep Inside a Cult

Angie Han
slashfilm.com
April 26, 2016

 
Buddhafield
Stories about cults aren’t difficult to come by, but it’s not every day you get a cinematic account from someone who’s actually lived the experience. Film school graduate Will Allen joined The Buddhafield in 1985, and spent the next two decades serving as the propagandist and trusted confidant to the group’s charismatic leader Michel — until everything fell apart in the 2000s amid shocking revelations.

Holy Hell is Allen’s account of time in the cult, combining footage from his years inside with present-day interviews with former cult members. Jared Leto has an executive producer credit on this film, so you know what that means: expect the weird and twisted. Watch the Holy Hell trailer below.



From the outside, it seems easy to spot a dangerous cult. From the inside, though, things don’t look so crystal clear, and that’s where Holy Hell‘s perspective seems useful. Allen has the opportunity to show what draws people to these groups, without condoning the groups themselves. As it turns out, people join for the same reasons they do lots of other things in life: because they’re searching for love and happiness and a sense of purpose. And The Buddhafield did fulfill all those needs at first. By the time Michel’s dark side became more apparent, his followers were in too deep to walk away easily or, perhaps, even to notice the warning signs.

Holy Hell opens in theaters May 27. Here’s the official synopsis:

In 1985, Will Allen became a member of The Buddhafield, a Los Angeles area spiritual group. A recent film school graduate, Allen began to chronicle the group’s activities that centered on their leader, a mysterious individual they called The Teacher, or Michel. Over time, the group’s dark side began to surface, until finally, a shocking allegation against The Teacher tore the group apart – all in front of Allen’s camera. This incredible archive of video footage became the basis for HOLY HELL.

Now, for the first time since he left the group, Allen turns the camera on himself and asks fellow ex-cult members to come to terms with their past and the unbelievable deceit they experienced.

http://www.slashfilm.com/holy-hell-trailer/

Mar 3, 2016

Holy Hell: Documenting 20 years inside a California cult, Buddhafield

BBC
March 3, 2016

A new film called Holy Hell documents a spiritual community or cult, Buddhafield, that was formed in California in the 1980s which ended up leaving many of its members feeling abused and exploited.

Shot over a period of 22 years, the documentary has been put together by Will Allen, a former member of the group, who was the informal house videographer.

Talking Movies' Tom Brook reports.


http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-35708328

Jan 26, 2016

How the Sundance Film Festival helped 'Holy Hell' filmmaker find his way back from a cult

Kenneth Turan

LA Times

January 21, 2016

The interview is over, the goodbyes have been said, but then Will Allen realizes he has one more thing he wants to say.

"Do you know what Joseph Campbell wrote about the hero's journey?" he asks. "It's the return that's the hardest part, reintegrating into the world, but it's so important. The hero adds value by telling what he found, and that's the value I have right now, with this story, this film."

Don't misunderstand. It's not that filmmaker Allen, an innately modest man further conditioned by years of doing service to others, necessarily thinks of himself in the heroic mold. It's just that the sense of mission that has sustained him through the four years it's taken to make "Holy Hell" is strong. And no wonder.

Debuting Monday as part of Sundance's U.S. Documentary Competition, "Holy Hell" is Allen's first-person story of the 22 years he spent in a West Hollywood cult led by a charismatic "teacher" and promising enlightenment, an experience that started out euphoric and ended up divisive and sexually exploitative.

Because "Holy Hell" is told largely via extensive footage Allen shot at the time, the film has the uncanny effect of showing us what a cult looks like from the inside, how appealing it can be to those seeking enlightenment, and with after-the-fact interviews how bitter the aftermath can feel if things fall apart.

"I was with my teacher from 1985 to 2007, half my life, from age 22 to 44," says Allen, now 53. "I had to unlearn things when I entered it; we were told we had to reprogram bad ideas, and when I left, I had to unlearn everything I'd learned there."

Alone among the more than 100 features described in the Sundance catalog, "Holy Hell" does not have a director or screenwriter listed. With Allen's teacher still active but in another state and with the film's producers feeling what Allen calls "concern about some people in the group," secrecy was deemed the wisest policy.

Allen describes himself as "confused and burnt out" when he got out of film school in 1985. "I came back home to Newport Beach, I thought maybe I didn't want to make movies, I wanted to find myself, figure out who I was. I've always been fascinated by the philosophical, by spiritual concepts and questions like 'Who are we? Why are we here?'

"Then my mother found out I was gay and kicked me out of the house. At that point, my sister invited to me to join a meditation group she'd been going to for nine months and was excited to introduce me to."

That group, which eventually grew to more than 100 members and took the name Buddhafield, was led by a man named Michel whose palpable charisma, even in the Speedo swimsuits he favored, is visible in the footage Allen shot at the time. The film does not accuse the cult leader of any crime, and he is never confronted by members during the movie.

"The teacher talked so elegantly, he was smart, funny, irreverent," the director recalls. "He made us feel we were OK as we were, and he offered the promise of enlightenment."

Very visible on film, and a lure for Allen as well, was the warm community the devotees formed. But once Allen, at the teacher's command, was made part of the group's inner circle, things began to look different.

"It was an emotionally tumultuous situation. The more I got around him, there was no pleasing this person," the filmmaker remembers. "There were no boundaries. He acted as our therapist as well as our guru. We were supposed to tell him everything." Eventually, Allen says, the teacher manipulated him into a sexual relationship as well, "a confusing thing which came with a lot of angst."

The group left West Hollywood for Austin, Texas, in 1992, and things started to fall apart. "Gradually, everyone was finding out things, sexual manipulations, controlling relationships, saying he was healing people when he wasn't. It was like an office where everyone starts to talk about what the boss has been doing; all these details started coming out."

People began leaving, and Allen did as well.

After all those years in the group, Allen was faced with the question of "what to do I do with my life?"

"It wasn't like I was going to be a manicurist," he said. "I was very unresolved, I wasn't at peace. It was like I had PTSD."

A trip to the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, where he saw movies like Ira Sachs' "Keep the Lights On," provided the answer. "It energized me. I saw a community of people who are artists, whose films were so honest, and I felt, 'These are my people.' I was so thankful to see someone take their own life and put it up on-screen."

Allen had periodically edited down what he had shot, but when he decided to leave the group, he said he didn't get out with all of his footage. "But at the time, I didn't care," he added. "I never thought I'd look at this again. I felt I had to move on."

Once Allen sat down to begin making "Holy Hell," he had some 35 hours of edited footage to work with as well as interviews with more than a dozen other disaffected ex-cult members.

"I never wanted to make a negative film where you wanted to take a shower. I felt I was the closest person to him, and I could tell a fair story," Allen says of his motivation.

"People ask me, 'Do you regret it?' and I think that's such an unfair question. Would you regret a marriage that failed though you have children? The experience was not all about him, it was about the community. I didn't recognize that until I made the film."

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/movies/la-ca-mn-sundance-holy-hell-20160124-column.html