Showing posts with label mediation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mediation. Show all posts

Jan 27, 2022

Should You Reconcile with an Estranged Sibling?

Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation
Estranged siblings may want to reconcile, many due to the pandemic. Here's how.




KEY POINTS
  • Studies show that more than 40 percent of people experience family estrangement at some point in their lives.
  • Reconciliation can be risky, so it's important to carefully evaluate whether to re-enter a relationship with a difficult sibling.
  • There are no hard and fast rules on how to reconcile—or whether it's even necessary to discuss the roots of the cutoff.
"I just talked to Scott. He’s unbelievably upset. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do...”

I was stunned when I listened to this terrified voicemail from my 89-year-old mother. She was talking about my older brother—whom I hadn’t spoken to in decades—begging me to contact him and help him out of a dark place of illness and despair.

After clicking off my mother’s frantic message, I re-introduced myself to the concept of a sibling. “My brother,” I said out loud. He had been out of my life for so long that I didn’t even remember why we were apart.

Now, my mother’s desperate request raised profound questions. What is my responsibility to my brother when we’ve had no relationship for years? What is my responsibility to the family…to my mother? How can I trust my brother, who has repeatedly hurt and betrayed me?

To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile

Studies show that more than 40 percent of people have experienced family estrangement at some point in their lives. During the pandemic, many have found themselves weighing whether to try to reconcile. Aware of their own mortality, some fear that if they don’t contact an estranged family member now, they may never have the chance.

To approach reconciliation in a rational, self‐protective, yet open fashion, it’s crucial to assess one’s own feelings and the prospects for the relationship. Consider the following questions:

  • Why is this relationship important to me—not to my family, or to anyone else, but to me?
  • Does my family member want to resume a relationship?
  • Can I set aside the anger, pain, and/or resentment that led to the break to change our pattern of relating?
  • Do I want to resume this relationship even if I discover that neither of us has changed?
  • What needs to be different to create a genuine relationship? (Identifying these needs helps each sibling establish boundaries for a renewed relationship.)
  • Will I compromise too much of myself if I try to sustain a relationship with my difficult family member?

To Discuss or Not to Discuss

There are no rules on how to approach reconciling. Some people simply pick up a relationship without even discussing the past or the events that drove them apart. Other estranged siblings fear that they’ll continue to harbor resentments if they never discuss the source of their problems.

When they were in their 20s, Leah Barr of Naples, Florida, and her older brother stopped talking to each other. The two, now in their 60s, have never discussed the issues that fueled their estrangement. At the time of the cutoff, both had young children, and the families would alternate having Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners at each other’s houses.

Suddenly, one year, Leah’s brother didn’t invite her family to the holiday dinner at his home. That seemed to be the catalyst. Afterward, when they attended a family gathering, the two would avoid each other. In time, the divide spread to other family members.

After six years, Leah says, the two finally spoke again at their mother’s funeral:

My brother and I looked at one another over her casket and said to each other that it was horrible our 59-year-old mother went to her grave thinking that two of her children were not talking. I swore I would never have another divide, even if it meant eating crow. I never want to hurt others in that way.

Yet, without an understanding of the causes, Leah says she never feels close to him. For a long time, she feared they would lapse back into estrangement.

I don’t know if I fully trust him because I don’t understand what the issue was then. How can I correct my own actions if I don’t know what I did wrong? And it’s hard to fully commit to someone when they’ve betrayed you in a fundamental way.

Leah describes their current relationship as an amicable cease‐fire, but she has no sense of peace.

How to Approach an Estranged Sibling

To promote understanding and reconciliation, estranged family members would benefit from:

  • Sitting down together, face to face.
  • Listening without interrupting, and without challenging each other’s stories. Seek understanding. Reconciliation is impossible without true, genuine listening.
  • Acknowledging, with empathy, the other person’s hurt, anger, or alienation—even if it doesn’t make sense to you. Assume they have sincere, trustworthy intentions. When each party accepts the other's experiences, neither feels devalued or shut out.
  • Letting go of anger.
  • Emphasizing consistently your hope of creating a mutual bond—and your willingness to work at it.

My Reconciliation with My Brother After a 40-Year Estrangement

After that desperate message from our mother, I made the difficult decision to reach out to my brother. In many challenging but worthwhile conversations over the course of a year, we explored the reasons for the cutoff while rebuilding our relationship. I captured our emotional journey in my book Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation.

I wrote the book with my brother’s permission to share our story, and he wrote the afterword to offer his perspective. Even now, it’s deeply moving for me to read some of what he wrote: “We grew up together and we went through a lot during those years. [My sister] probably knows me better than anyone. I feel balanced that we have a relationship again...I don’t have the relationship I’d like with my niece and nephews. I can’t change the past, but at least I know I’ll always have a sister.”

Our mother, now 96, couldn’t be happier that we’ve reconciled. The work of reuniting would have been worth it for that alone. Even better, for my brother and me, there’s now a sense of peace where there was once only hurt and longing.

Aug 30, 2020

CultNEWS101 Articles: 8/29-30/2020

Online Event, Satanic Temple, Universal Church of the Kingdom of God, Brazil, Sexual Abuse, Meditation Research, Panama Religious Sect
An ONLINE EVENT for Families, Former Members and Friends Affected by CULTIC Groups and Relationships.

PACIFIC RIM | EUROPE - SEPTEMBER 12-13, 2020
NORTH AMERICA - SEPTEMBER 11-12, 2020

Dr Gillie Jenkinson will be doing a 50 minute talk at our 'up and coming' online event.

Many former cult members struggle to recover, and some take years before they are able to move on from their experiences. In this session she will share some key insights for former members and their therapists, and practical issues for facing the recovery process.

Early Registration Discount ends soon.

" ... In a series of three cases, the Court ruled that religion has a particularly special place in American law. So special, in fact, that religious entities can be exempt from generally applicable anti-discrimination laws, can refuse to follow Obamacare mandates about coverage of preventive medical care, and can force the state to send them public funds for students at their religious schools. This has been a trend for the John Roberts Supreme Court — religious entities have won claims of religious liberty in 12 of the 13 cases to come before the Court since 2012.
Not surprisingly, in each of the cases decided this year, it was the dominant Christian religion that won in its claims of religious liberty. So it's reasonable to ask whether the Supreme Court (or any court) would feel the same way about religious liberty claims brought on behalf of minority religions.
Enter The Satanic Temple. The Satanic Temple is a religion that believes in benevolence and empathy among all people, rejects tyrannical authority, and advocates for common sense and justice. For years now, The Satanic Temple has fought to expand religious liberty notions that the conservative Supreme Court has applied to Christians to apply to its members as well.
Particularly, The Satanic Temple has fought this battle over abortion. The third tenet of the religion is "One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone." Thus, The Satanic Temple claims that the obstacle course of abortion restrictions that states impose on the procedure should not apply to its members because doing so violates their sincerely-held religious beliefs. As the church's reproductive rights spokeswoman puts it, "No Christian would tolerate a law that insists state counseling is necessary before someone can be baptized. Our members are justly entitled to religious liberty in order to practice our rituals as well."
The Satanic Temple has made these claims in multiple state and federal court cases on behalf of members who were pregnant and sought an abortion at the time the lawsuits were filed. So far, it has been unsuccessful. It lost in 2019 before the Missouri Supreme Court, which ruled that the challenged Missouri abortion law does not require any patient to actually have an ultrasound (though one must be offered) or read the state pamphlet (though it must be provided). In June this year, the federal appeals court that covers Missouri ruled that the Satanists cannot be exempt from generally applicable and neutral state laws just because their religious beliefs disagree with the law.
The Satanic Temple, who may wind up appealing this to the Supreme Court, isn't backing down, and it issued a press release earlier this month again claiming that it is exempt from state abortion restrictions. The church is clearly reading the tea leaves about how the Supreme Court is treating religious liberty. It's also counting on the Court ultimately being evenhanded with its religious liberty jurisprudence — if it benefits the country's dominant religion, it should benefit all religions. There's reason to doubt whether the Court will apply these principles neutrally, but if it does, The Satanic Temple may eventually win.
At issue is a 1990 Supreme Court precedent that says that a "neutral" and "generally applicable" law does not infringe on religious liberty when applied to someone who has a contrary religious belief. In that case, a state law against peyote smoking could be applied to a Native American who said that doing so was important to his religion. The Court said that because the law was not written particularly to harm Native Americans (neutral) and applied to everyone (generally applicable), the claim of religious freedom lost.
This case has been the subject of attack from the day it was decided. The left claimed that it allowed the state to persecute religious minorities. The right claimed that it allowed the state to persecute Christians. As a result, there has been a concerted effort to overturn this precedent at the Supreme Court. There has also been a movement to pass state laws that would protect religious liberty claims. In 2014, the Supreme Court applied the federal version of this religious liberty law (which only applies to other federal laws) to allow Hobby Lobby to refuse to provide contraceptive coverage to its employees, even though the federal Affordable Care Act mandated doing so.
The Satanic Temple is trying to use these laws and this movement to exempt its members from abortion laws. The argument is the same as Hobby Lobby's, though it's about state abortion laws rather than federal insurance laws. The church also hopes that the Supreme Court's precedent about "neutral" and "generally applicable" will be overturned. That precedent has been chipped away and called into question, but so far it remains good law. A case the Supreme Court will hear this coming term could change that. In that case, a Catholic foster care agency wants the freedom to discriminate against gay parents, contrary to Philadelphia's anti-discrimination laws.
In other words, The Satanic Temple is taking the Christian right's crusade for religious liberty seriously and saying that if it's good for Christianity, it has to be good for everyone. It's only a matter of time before the Supreme Court answers the question whether they actually believe in religious liberty for all."

"Prosecutors in Angola have ordered the closure of places of worship belonging to one of Brazil's biggest churches, accusing it of corruption.

"At least seven buildings belonging to the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God (UCKG) have been seized in the capital, Luanda.

Prosecutors said the evangelical church had been involved in tax fraud and other fiscal crimes.

UCKG officials have previously strongly denied any wrongdoing.

Last year about 300 Angolan UCKG bishops broke away from the Brazilian leadership, accusing it of mismanagement and not being African enough. UCKG officials described the accusations as "defamatory".

The UCKG claims to have about eight million members in Brazil and branches in several African countries. It promotes "prosperity theology", whereby believers are told their faith and donations to the Church will lead to material wealth.

The row started last year when Angolan bishops broke away from the Brazilian Church, accusing it of "fiscal evasion" and of practices contrary to the "African and Angolan reality"."

"A recent literature review by a University of Alberta cult expert and his former graduate student paints a startling and consistent picture of institutional secrecy and widespread protection of those who abuse children in religious institutions "in ways that often differ from forms of manipulation in secular settings."

It's the first comprehensive study exposing patterns of sexual abuse in religious settings.

"A predator may spend weeks, months, even years grooming a child in order to violate them sexually," said Susan Raine, a MacEwan University sociologist and co-author of the study with University of Alberta sociologist Stephen Kent.

Perpetrators are also difficult to identify, the researchers said, because they rarely conform to a single set of personality or other traits.

The findings demonstrate the need to "spend less time focusing on 'stranger danger,' and more time thinking about our immediate community involvement, or extended environment, and the potential there for grooming," said Raine.

Raine and Kent examined the research on abuse in a number of religious denominations around the world to show "how some religious institutions and leadership figures in them can slowly cultivate children and their caregivers into harmful and illegal sexual activity."

Those institutions include various branches of Christianity as well as cults and sectarian movements including the Children of God, the Branch Davidians, the Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints as well as a Hindu ashram and the Devadasis.

"Because of religion's institutional standing, religious grooming frequently takes place in a context of unquestioned faith placed in sex offenders by children, parents and staff," they found.

The two researchers began their study after Kent was asked to provide expert testimony for a lawsuit in Vancouver accusing Bollywood choreographer and sect leader Shiamak Davar of sexually abusing two of his dance students in 2015.

Kent realized that although some scholars had written about sexual abuse in religion, "They had not identified the grooming process and the distinctive features of it." After the lawsuit was settled out of court, he approached Raine to take on the project.

"The two of us had worked on projects before (including the successful book Scientology in Popular Culture) and I knew that she wrote fluently and quickly," said Kent. "I provided her with initial ideas and suggestions, and she did most of the writing."

The result is "the first of its kind to provide a theoretical framework for analyzing and discussing religiously based child and teen sexual grooming," he said.

One of the best-known cases of such grooming in the Catholic Church was uncovered by the Boston Globe in 2002 and dramatized in the 2015 film Spotlight. The Globe revealed that John J. Geoghan, a former priest, had fondled or raped at least 130 children over three decades in some half-dozen Greater Boston parishes.

Eventually a widespread pattern of abuse in the church was exposed in Europe, Australia, Chile, Canada and the United States.

More shocking than the abuses themselves, said Raine, was the systemic cover-up that reached all the way up to the Vatican.

"And the relocation of priests to other churches, I think that was devastating for Catholics—a major breach of trust," she said."
Dr. Britton answers frequently asked questions about meditation-related difficulties.

"The authorities of Panama they rescued to three children held by an alleged religious sect in a community in the indigenous Ngäbe Buglé region, in the province of Veraguas, the only one in the country with coasts on the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, according to official sources and local media.
In the rescue of the minors participated agents of the National Aeronaval Service of Panama (Senan), as a result of the fact that his situation was reported by a journalist to the authorities, reported the Minister of Public Security, Juan Pino.

Pino pointed out that the children, who had been held together with three teenagers, are in good health, and that one person has fled.

He added that one of the people who was detained managed to escape to ask for help, and explained that according to the reports received, an alleged religious sect would be involved in the events."



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Apr 9, 2016

Brazilian judge trains clergy to mediate domestic disputes

A pioneering mediation program in Brazil is banking on religious leaders using their conciliatory skills to resolve conflicts between families and neighbors, while helping the judicial system reduce a massive backlog of cases overloading the country’s courts. Janet Tappin Coelho
RNS
April 4, 2016

RIO DE JANEIRO (RNS) A pioneering mediation program in Brazil is banking on religious leaders using their conciliatory skills to resolve conflicts between families and neighbors, while helping the judicial system reduce a massive backlog of cases overloading the country’s courts.

The “Mediar e Divino” (“To Mediate is Divine”) pilot project in the state of Goias, has started training evangelical pastors, Catholic priests and Protestant ministers on the legalities of reconciling bickering parties and settling social squabbles.

“The idea of forming a partnership between the courts and the church is unprecedented in Brazil,” said Paulo Cesar das Neves, the senior Goias judge responsible for setting up the program. 

Das Neves said the aim is to develop alternative methods of conflict resolution.

“Brazil is a highly religious society and it dawned on me that along with a mission to evangelize religious leaders also have a mission to reconcile and pacify citizens,” he said.

Every year, hundreds of community disputes end up in the courtroom. According to the Department of Justice, there are between 105 million to 200 million civil cases caught up in the national judiciary with hundreds of thousands taking anywhere between two to 10 years to reach a court hearing. In 2015 Goias state alone registered over 800,000 legal cases.

The new clergy-led mediation program, which started its second training session in late March with 21 clerical representatives, offers a simpler and cheaper arbitration route, with participants learning how to hold “conversations” in the congenial surroundings of a church hall. The goal is to eliminate the need for lawyers and draw on a culture of peaceful conciliation. 

Participants on the course have been recruited through word of mouth and on recommendation from others who believe they possess the right disposition, patience, impartiality and analytical ability.

The course, approved by the National Justice Council and run by law experts based at the Courts of Justice in the State of Goias, involves about 40 hours of legal theory and 60 hours of supervised practice including simulating conflicts. So far the pilot program is being paid for by the justice courts in Goias, but it is unclear how much it will cost the government once fully implemented or what kind of savings it might accrue.

Many of the cases being brought before clergy and lay preachers include marital issues, child custody, failure to pay child support and disputes between neighbors. These cases are typical of the disagreements progressing through Brazil’s notoriously slow judicial system, hampered by bureaucracy and red tape, and hindered by limited time and scarce resources.

Approximately 130 mediation sessions have already been held since the free, voluntary, sessions began a month ago, with 90 agreements resulting in a 70 percent conciliation success rate.

According to Pew Research Center, Brazil is among the most religious countries in the world with an estimated 123 million Roman Catholics and a growing Protestant community of 42 million people in a nation of some 200 million. It is also a country of diverse religions such as Candomble and Umbanda, syncretic polytheistic beliefs that draw on African spiritual traditions mixed with elements of Roman Catholicism.

All are represented in the training sessions said Marielza da Costa, one of the instructors on the course.

“When we started I expected to meet some resistance from those attending the training because of religious differences,” said da Costa. “The first session brought together 14 leaders from different denominations and to my surprise I came across people speaking one language and promoting one message.

“On all occasions they have performed with a united approach using their religious knowledge and legal teachings to reach a common point and social peace.”

Evangelical pastor Miguel Bernardino Viveiros, from the Senador Canedo Baptist Church in Goias, joined the second course last month and said his ministry will benefit.

“This training brings justice closer to home and will help us reach out, not just to our congregation, but to the wider community about living peaceably,” he said.

The prospect of taking the plan nationwide is already in the works. Das Neves will present the project at a national meeting of conciliators and mediators in Cuiaba, in the southern state of Mato Grosso, this month.

“We want to replicate this project and spread it throughout the whole country,” he said, “because in Brazil every town and every neighborhood has a church.”

Cintia Lopes, who lives in Aparecida de Goiania, the second largest city in Goias, said she was “thrilled” to find this type of service.

Divorced from her hairdresser husband seven years ago, she hasn’t received a penny of child support for their 8-year-old daughter.

“After he refused to make any payment, I felt forced to take him to court three years ago,” said Lopes. “The lawyer was expensive and the case dragged on for over two years before it was heard. In the meantime I had to borrow money to put food on our table.”

Her ex-husband was ordered by a judge last year to back pay a negotiated sum of thousands of dollars under Brazilian alimony law, and to contribute 33 percent of his earnings towards his child’s upkeep or face prison.

Despite the ruling, he still hasn’t paid. Reluctant to put her ex-husband behind bars, Lopes was relieved to discover a nun and a priest at the Catholic church she attends, Santa Terezinha do Menino Jesus, had just started scheduling “To Mediate is Divine” hearings.

“They set up an appointment for us to meet within a few days last month. It was so quick and no costly lawyers were involved,” said Lopes. “After an hour and a half of discussion and reasoning, my ex-husband promised to pay what was owed.”

The agreement made by the clergy is legally binding and forwarded to a judge for approval. In the case of noncompliance, the mediators can either recall the defendant or the judge can intervene.

“I really felt encouraged by the professional way it was handled,” Lopes said. “I’m now hoping he will finally start paying and prove this way of mediation really does work.”

(Janet Tappin Coelho is a correspondent based in Rio de Janeiro)


http://www.religionnews.com/2016/04/04/brazilian-judge-trains-clergy-mediate-domestic-disputes/

Nov 8, 2012

Ethical Standards for Thought Reform Consultants

A group of thought reform consultants, popularly known as exit counselors, propose detailed ethical standards to guide this new profession. In addition to a preamble, these standards include sections on the responsibility of consultants toward professionalism, toward clients, and toward the public. The second section outlines standards pertaining to the consulting relationship, confidentiality and records, and financial matters. The third section is divided into subsections on educational programs and advertising and presentation to the public.

Editor's Preface (Michael D. Langone, Editor of the Cultic Studies Journal)
In the mid-1970s increasing numbers of parents began to consult mental health professionals and clergy about their adult children=s involvements in new religious groups that many called cults. Parents reported that formerly well-adjusted and engaged young adults (many were college students) changed radically, sometimes over a short period of time. These young adults typically dropped out of school, shunned their families and friends, and devoted themselves full time to working for these strange new groups to which they had pledged their total allegiance. Many parents concluded that their children had undergone a type of brainwashing.

Unfortunately for these parents, few helping professionals took their concerns seriously. Most assumed that these parents were overprotective or that their children were merely "going through a phase." But a handful of professionals, including Dr. John Clark on the East Coast and Dr. Margaret Thaler Singer on the West Coast, listened to the parents and began to speak out publicly. Soon, small and loosely organized groups of parents began to form in different parts of the country.

Several of these groups joined to form the Citizens Freedom Foundation (CFF), later renamed the Cult Awareness Network (CAN). CAN became the leading grassroots organization for this movement. One informal group in Massachusetts gave birth, so to speak, to the American Family Foundation (AFF), which has become the leading professional organization concerned with cults and psychological manipulation. Both AFF and CFF/CAN were chartered in 1979.

While these groups were developing, parents were doing what they could to rescue their children and sometimes other family members from what were perceived as dangerous situations. Through trial and error, the controversial process of deprogramming developed. In the 1970s, for many parents, deprogramming became the preferred means of rescuing a cult member. Although initially the term deprogramming encompassed interventions that were voluntary (the cult member was free to leave at any time) and involuntary (restraint was used for at least part of the time), in time the term came to refer primarily to involuntary interventions. Much confusion occurs today when people mistakenly use deprogramming in its original sense because they unintentionally give the impression that they are talking about involuntary interventions when in fact they may be referring to voluntary interventions.

Even though incorrect, the widespread belief among many parents that (involuntary) deprogramming was their best, if not their only option was not as unreasonable at that time as it seems today. This belief was so widely held and so supported by media accounts that several state legislatures considered conservatorship legislation, which would have enabled the parents of a cult member to legally extricate him or her for psychiatric evaluation. Such legislation was tantamount to a legalization of deprogramming. Though arousing passionate opposition, this legislation garnered significant support. In New York state, for example, the legislature twice passed the legislation, only to have it vetoed by the governor. Ultimately, however, the opposition to deprogramming and the growing recognition of the effectiveness of less restrictive alternatives ended all legislative efforts for conservatorship bills.


Deprogramming was controversial because it involved forcing a cult member to listen to people relate information not available in the cults.

Cult members were sometimes abducted from the street; although more commonly they were simply prevented from leaving their homes, a vacation cabin, a motel room, or whatever location was chosen for the deprogramming process. Deprogrammings often succeeded in extricating the family member from the cult; one study found a success rate of 63%. Nevertheless, deprogrammings failed more often than many persons realized; and sometimes lawsuits were filed against parents and deprogrammers.

Deprogrammings were arranged through informal, quasi-underground means. Much secrecy surrounded the process for many years. Mental health professionals were almost always "out of the loop" -- in part because most did not want to become involved for ethical and legal reasons and in part because their expertise was to a large extent irrelevant to the deprogramming itself. The main role of the mental health professional was to help families cope with their alarm about a family member in a cult and to help former cult members and their families cope with the many problems that accompanied reentry into mainstream society. However, sometimes mental health professionals, clergy persons, or former cult members were able to persuade those still in a cult to talk voluntarily about their cult involvements. Sometimes these conversations resulted in a decision to leave the cult.

Because of these successes, the legal risks entailed in deprogramming, and the ethical discomfort many parents and deprogrammers felt, non-coercive means of helping cult members reevaluate their cult affiliations began to get more attention. By the mid-1980s it had become clear to many persons that what had come to be called exit counseling was at least as effective as deprogramming and certainly was much less risky--psychologically as well as legally. A few individuals committed themselves to doing exit counseling and refused to do "involuntaries."

Even within the exit counseling field, further branching off has occurred. Some tend to be technique oriented and/or advance a particular religious perspective. Others are information oriented. They introduce themselves as individuals with important information. Although they may have a preference regarding how the cult member chooses to respond to that information, they take pains to avoid manipulating the cult member.

During the past few years, some exit counselors, who prefer to be known as thought reform consultants, have been trying to professionalize their field by establishing ethical and competency criteria. Although this process of professionalization continues, the following set of ethical standards developed by a group of exit counselors demonstrates how much this field has developed during the past 20 years.

RATIONALE
History of cult interventions,deprogramming, exit counseling

Thought reform includes the use of highly manipulative methods and processes such as undue social and psychological influence, behavioral modification techniques, disguised hypnosis and trance induction, and other physiological and psychological influence techniques. These techniques are used in a coordinated and systematic way without the informed consent of an individual. Thought reform is commonly associated with cults, but it can occur in other contexts. For our purposes here, cult refers to groups that tend to be deceptive, psychologically and/or physically abusive, and exploitatively manipulative.

Many different approaches have been applied to the problem of freeing people from the hold of thought reform programs. Early in the history of the problem, some concerned families resorted to methods which we in the 1990’s, consider unethical. Deprogramming was the process of countering the cults’ programming; the process often meant taking adult children off the street or detaining them until they listened to a detailed critique of the cultic group.

Later, as the techniques and process evolved, the term exit counseling was adopted, indicating a voluntary respectful approach. However, there was no universal consensus among those in the field about ethical criteria. This created some problems. First, anyone could declare him- or herself as an exit counselor. Second, the terms exit counseling and deprogramming were often confused and used interchangeably. The labels did not indicate what the individuals were doing or their competency, ethics, or approach. 

The ethical standards here have been developed and subscribed to by approximately twelve consultants. We prefer the term thought reform consultant to describe our profession.

PREAMBLE

Consultation refers to a voluntary relationship between a professional helper and help-needing individual, family, group, or social unit in which the consultant is providing information that enables client(s) to more clearly define and solve the problem(s) for which they sought consultation.

Thought reform consultation is the presentation of information concerning the principles and practical applications of thought reform. This presentation is done in a manner that is legal and conforms to the following ethical standards.

The consultation involves a respectful dialogue in an open environment, supplemented by educational materials, such as pertinent literature, generic source materials, informational multi-media presentations, and personal testimonies.

A Thought Reform Consultant is an individual who conducts these consultations and voluntarily agrees to abide by these ethical standards.
The existence of ethical standards also stimulates consultants to show greater concern for their own professional functioning and for the conduct of fellow professionals, such as educators, counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, clergy, and others in the helping professions.

As an ethical code, this document establishes principles that define the ethical behavior of those who have subscribed to it.

SECTION I.

RESPONSIBILITY OF CONSULTANTS TOWARD PROFESSIONALISM




  • Each individual subscribing consultant influences the development of the profession through continuous efforts to improve professional practices, teaching, services, and research. Professional growth continues throughout the consultant’s career and is exemplified by the development of a set of criteria that defines why and how a consultant functions in the helping relationship.
  • To ensure competent service, subscribing consultants recognize the need for continued sharing of information.
  • Subscribing consultants will obtain a minimum amount of continuing education credits agreed upon by the majority of consultants subscribing to these standards.
  • Each subscribing consultant has an obligation to continued professional growth, including active participation in the meetings of fellow consultants as well as participation in research and public education programs.
  • Subscribing consultants are encouraged to devote a portion of their time to related work for which there is little or no financial return.

  • SECTION II.

    RESPONSIBILITY OF CONSULTANTS TOWARD CLIENTS

    This section refers to practices and procedures of individual and/or group consulting relationships.
    The term "client" herein is defined as: the person(s) coming to a consultant for guidance or information in order to help an individual involved in a cultic relationship. If the client decides to pursue an intervention aimed at helping the involved person reevaluate his or her commitment to the group practicing thought reform, the involved person becomes the primary "client" when the intervention begins.

    A. General Standards for the Consulting Relationship

    1. The subscribing consultant’s primary obligation is to respect the integrity and promote the welfare of the client(s), whether the client(s) is (are) assisted individually or in a group relationship.
    2. When working with clients, a subscribing consultant avoids discrimination due to race, religion, sex, political affiliation, social or economic status, or choice of lifestyle.
    3. When a subscribing consultant cannot offer service for any reason, he or she will make appropriate referrals, when possible.
    4. A subscribing consultant will not use his or her consulting relationship for personal needs or to further religious, political, or business interests.
    5. A subscribing consultant will not employ methods or techniques such as neuro-linguistics programming, hypnosis or Ericksonian hypnosis or other techniques similar to those employed by cult groups without fully informed consent of the client.
    6. Subscribing consultants recognize their boundaries of competence and provide only those services for which they are qualified by training or experience. Consultants should only accept those cases for which they are qualified.
    7. The consulting relationship must be one in which client self-direction is encouraged and cultivated. The subscribing consultant must maintain this role consistently and not become a decision-maker for the client or create within the client a future dependency on the consultant.
    8. The Human Services field is becoming increasingly complex and specialized. Few thought reform consultants are able to deal with every cult problem, and many potential clients have difficulty determining the competence of thought reform consultants. Selecting one is difficult because of the lack of knowledge about pertinent qualifications. In some cases, stress itself may impair judgment. Subscribing consultants should help potential clients make informed evaluations of consultants they are considering.
    9. The subscribing consultant must inform the client of the purposes, goals, rules of procedure, and limitations that may affect the relationship at or before the time the consulting relationship is begun.
    10. Before an intervention can be initiated, subscribing consultants and client(s) must agree on the definition of the problem, the goals of the intervention, and the range of possible consequences.
    11. A subscribing consultant must inform the concerned party(ies) that should a client be prevented from leaving the site of the consultation or physically restrained in any manner (unless legally sanctioned permission has been obtained); the consultant will terminate the consultation immediately.
    12. After obtaining the client’s permission (if confidentiality is placed at risk), a subscribing consultant may choose to consult with any other professionally competent person about a client or aspects of the situation. If the client refuses to allow consultant to seek outside consultation when the consultant deems such consultation necessary, the consultant should consider terminating with that client.
    13. When the subscribing consultant is engaged in individual or group consulting (e.g., group sessions with persons who have walked away from cultic relationships with individuals and/or groups), the consultant should be cognizant of mental health resources available.
    14. Ethical behavior among professional associates, including consultants subscribing to these ethical standards and those not subscribing, must be expected at all times. When information is possessed that raises doubt as to the ethical behavior of professional colleagues, whether subscribing consultants or peer consultants, the member should take action to attempt to rectify such a condition. Such action shall use the procedures established by these ethical standards.
    15. The subscribing consultant must have a high degree of self-awareness of his or her own values, knowledge, skills, limitations, and needs in entering a helping relationship that involves decision-making capacity and critical thinking skills, and that the focus of the relationship should be on the issues to be resolved and not on the person(s) presenting the problem.
    16. Dual relationships with clients that might impair the consultant’s objectivity and professional judgment (e.g., with close friends or relatives) should be avoided and/or the consulting relationship terminated through referral to another competent professional.
    17. Subscribing consultants do not condone or engage in sexual harassment, which is defined as deliberate or repeated comments, gestures, or physical contacts of a sexual nature.
    18. The subscribing consultant will avoid any type of sexual contact with clients. Sexual relationships with clients are unethical and are forbidden.
    19. When the subscribing consultant concludes that he or she cannot be of professional assistance to the client, the consultant must terminate the relationship.
    20. A subscribing consultant has an obligation to withdraw from a consulting relationship if it is believed that employment will result in violation of the Ethical Standards.
    21. If subscribing consultants encounter situations in which appropriate ethical behavior is not clear, they should seek the advice of the Ethics Committee. 

    B.  Confidentiality and Record

    1. Records of the consulting relationship, including interview notes, family intake information, correspondence, tape recordings, electronic data storage, and other documents are to be considered confidential information. Revelation to others of such material must occur only upon the expressed written consent of the client.
    2. Use of data derived from a consulting relationship for purposes of consultant training or research shall be confined to content that can be disguised to protect the identity of the subject client unless written permission of the client is obtained.

    C. Financial matters

    1. A subscribing consultant recognizes the importance of clear understandings on financial matters with clients. Arrangements for payments are settled at the beginning of the consultation relationship. Each consultant will provide a written and dated schedule of fees to potential clients.
    2. In establishing fees for professional services, subscribing consultants must consider the financial status of clients and family. In the event that the established fee structure is inappropriate for a client, consultants are encouraged to assist families in finding appropriate and available services at an acceptable cost.
    3. A subscribing consultant will neither offer nor accept payment for referrals, and will actively seek all significant information from the source of referral (with the permission of the client).

    SECTION III.

    Responsibility Toward the Public

    A. Educational Programs

    1. Products or services provided by the subscribing consultant in interventions, public lectures, demonstrations, written articles, radio or television programs, or other types of media must meet the criteria cited in these standards.
    2. When subscribing consultants provide information to the public or to subordinates, peers, or colleagues, they have a responsibility to ensure that case-related information is sufficiently disguised to protect confidentiality and that other information is as unbiased and factual as possible.

    B. Advertising and Presentation to the Public


    1. A subscribing consultant shall not, on his or her own behalf or on behalf of a partner or associate or any other thought reform consultant subscribing to these ethical standards, use or participate in the use of any form of paid public advertising of services which: a. Inappropriately uses statistical data or other information based on past performance or prediction of future success; b. Contains a testimonial about or endorsement of a thought reform consultant; c. Is intended or is likely to attract clients by use of self-praise.
    2. The subscribing consultant neither claims nor implies professional qualifications exceeding those possessed and is responsible for correcting any misrepresentations of these qualifications by others.
    3. Subscribing consultants may not compensate another person for recommending him or her, or to encourage future recommendations. Advertisements and public communications, whether in directories, announcement cards, newspapers or on radio to television, should be formulated to convey information that is necessary to make an appropriate selection. Self-praising should be avoided.
    4. In advertising services as a private consultant, the subscribing consultant must advertise the services in a manner that accurately informs the public of professional services, expense, and available techniques of consulting.
    5. The subscribing consultant may list the following: highest relevant degree, type and level of certification and/or license, address, telephone number, and type and/or description of services. Such information must not contain false, inaccurate, misleading, partial, out-of-context, or deceptive material or statements.
    6. Subscribing consultants do not present their affiliation with any organization in such a way that would imply inaccurate sponsorship or certification by that organization.
    7. A subscribing consultant shall not knowingly make a representation about his or her ability, background, or experience, or that of a partner or associate, or about the fee or any other aspect of a proposed professional engagement, that is false, fraudulent, misleading, or deceptive, and that might reasonably be expected to induce reliance by a member of the public.
    8. Without limitation, a false, fraudulent, misleading or deceptive statement or claim in this context includes a statement or claim which: 
    a. Contains a material misrepresentation of fact;
    b. Omits any material fact that is necessary to make the statement, in light of all circumstances, from being misleading;
    c. Is intended or is likely to create an unqualified expectation;
    d. Relates to professional fees other than:

    1. a statement of the fee for an initial consultation; a statement of the fee charged for a specific service and any refund policy;
    2. a statement of the range of fees for specifically described services, provided there is a reasonable disclosure of relevant variables and considerations so that the statement is not likely to be misunderstood;
    3. a statement of specified hourly or daily rates provided the statement makes clear that the total charge will vary according to the number of hours or days devoted to the matter.
    From "Ethical Standards for Thought Reform Consultants" by Carol Giambalvo, Joseph Kelly, Patrick Ryan, & Madeleine Landau Tobias, in Cultic Studies Journal, Volume 13, No.1, 1996.

    Ethical Codes or Standards of the following organizations:

    American Association for Marriage; Family Therapy, National Association of Social Workers, Standards for the Private Practice of Clinical Social Work,American Psychiatric Association, National Academy of Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselors.

    Approved 11/94 Revised 11/95  ATRC All rights reserved.