Polyamorous families face discrimination from health care providers during pregnancy: study

Mariam Matti

CTVNews.ca Staff
October 15, 2019:

Families in polyamorous relationships experience health care barriers and discrimination during pregnancy and birth, but hospitals could mitigate the stress with some changes, according to a new Canadian study.

The challenges polyamorous couples face vary from lack of acknowledgement of all partners to negative judgement when the relationship status is disclosed, and logistical nuisances such as newborn identification bracelets.

The study, published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ) on Tuesday, included 13 partners and 11 women who gave birth within the last five years from across the country.

“In terms of childbearing experiences, partners often felt like they weren’t validated in the health care interactions,” Elizabeth Darling, study author, told CTVNews.ca. “For example, if the person giving birth had two partners and one partner was a male and the other was a female, the male partner was always prioritized or seen as the legitimate partner while the female partner was ignored.”

Darling, assistant dean and midwifery associate professor at McMaster University, and her co-authors felt like it was important to investigate the experiences of polyamorous relationships given the growing popularity of non-traditional relationships with multiple partners.

A 2017 study found that more than one in five Americans have engaged in a non-monogamous relationship with multiple partners. There is no Canadian data on families in polyamorous relationships.



How can doctors help polyamorous families feel more comfortable?

Darling said there are a few basic things doctors and health care providers could implement that would improve the experience of the polyamorous family during pregnancy and birth.

“Acknowledgement and using language that demonstrates openness is important,” she said. “Being accommodating such as allowing more than one person in the room during a procedure is helpful.”

Being an ally and taking on the role of an advocate is also significant, Darling pointed out.

“Sometimes there is a repeated need to disclose family arrangements and that can be challenging for people to have to constantly explain their relationship to strangers,” she said.

A midwife could take on the responsibility of explaining the family status to all the health care providers involved in the pregnancy or birth.

“Participants [of the study] said having that advocacy was very much appreciated,” said Darling.

Doctors could also explain the medical relevancy of their questions.

“It would make people feel more comfortable because then they know the questions are being asked for medical purposes and not just because the doctor is curious,” said Darling.

How can polyamorous families find good care?

Darling said people often ask friends for referrals when searching for a family doctor who might be more accommodating and accepting of a non-traditional family.

“When selecting a provider, the families would often approach their first visit as an opportunity to interview the doctor,” she said.

“They might ask direct questions or make assessments about the space, such as look for symbols that would suggest it’s an LGBTQ2-friendly space. They would also assess the kind of language the care provider uses in their initial interaction.”



https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/polyamorous-families-face-discrimination-from-health-care-providers-during-pregnancy-study-1.4635312

Five things you need to know about polyamory after Newfoundland court ruling

MICHAEL MACDONALD The Canadian Press
Toronto Star
June 15, 2018

This week, a court in Newfoundland and Labrador recognized three unmarried adults as the legal parents of a child born within their “polyamorous” family. It was believed to be a legal first in Canada. However, many Canadians were left with one big question: What does polyamorous mean? Here’s five things you need to know:

1. There is no definitive definition, but there are a few basic principles.

The term appears to have emerged in the early 1990s, but there is no single definition that has universal acceptance.

John-Paul Boyd, executive director of the Calgary-based Canadian Research Institute for Law and the Family, says people who consider themselves polyamorous prefer to have intimate relationships that involve more than two people, where marriage is not considered necessary.

And there’s an added dimension that typically involves a high degree of openness and trust about the voluntary arrangement.

“Polyamorous relationships have been in the open since the late 1960s, but it has really picked up steam in the last 10 years,” Boyd says.

Those who describe themselves at polyamorous typically reject the notion that exclusivity is required for long-term, loving relationships.

2. Polyamorous relationships have nothing to do with bigamy or polygamy.

Under Section 293 of the Criminal Code, it is illegal to be married to more than one person. Polyamorous relationships do not violate that provision of the law.

However, it would be wrong to assume that is the only difference between polygamy and polyamory.

Last July, two men in British Columbia were found guilty of polygamy. Winston Blackmore, 62, was married to two dozen women, while James Oler, 54, was found to have married five women. Both are leaders of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Bountiful, B.C.

Boyd said these arranged marriages were part of a patriarchal structure that led to “serious, negative social effects within that community.”

“They were mandated by God and there’s no pretence of equality,” he said. “And it’s mandatory.”

By contrast, polyamorous relationships are voluntary.

“The key is that whatever (polyamorous) relationships look like, they are consensual,” he said. “Everybody knows what’s going on. Honesty and transparency are at the core of it all.”

Boyd said his research has found that among those who consider themselves polyamorous, there’s a heavy emphasis on equality, regardless of gender, sexual identity and parenting status.

3. We really have no idea how many people are polyamorous, but there has been some fascinating research.

There’s no way of knowing how many Canadians consider themselves polyamorous. Statistics Canada doesn’t collect that kind of data.

However, a 2009 American study suggested that one in 614 Americans lived in openly polyamorous relationships. Another U.S. study the following year suggested about one in 500 Americans described themselves as polyamorous.

In 2016, Boyd used social media to ask polyamorous Canadians to take part in an online survey. More than 500 people responded.

“That’s a huge number,” he says. “Getting people to fill out surveys is like pulling teeth.”

Of the 480 responses that were analyzed, 82 per cent agreed that the number of people who identify as polyamorous in Canada is increasing.

Meanwhile, the website for the Canadian Polyamory Advocacy Association includes more than 100 links to sites for advocacy, support and dating.

4. Polyamory is not just another term for what “swingers” do.

According to the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, there’s a big difference between swingers and those who are polyamorous.

Swinging is non-monogamous sexual activity “treated much like any other social activity,” says an October 2000 paper published in the journal, titled “Today’s Alternative Marriage Styles: The Case of Swingers.”

“Emotional monogamy, or commitment to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the primary focus.”

By contrast, those who are polyamorous may not be interested in sex: “It’s just consensual non-monogamy,” says Boyd.

Polyamorous relationships emphasize emotional and egalitarian aspects, while swingers focus on sexual non-monogamy and emotional monogamy.

That said, a polyamorous person may engage in swinging, while swingers sometimes develop emotional bonds with their sexual partners.

5. Children are frequently part of polyamorous families.

The data compiled from Boyd’s 2016 survey showed that 40 per cent of respondents said there were children living in their homes full- or part-time.

“What that shows is that it is hardly uncommon for people to have children in their polyamorous relationships,” Boyd says.

Still, the recent case in Newfoundland and Labrador drew attention to the fact that the law hasn’t kept up with the evolution of Canadian families.

In that case, released Thursday, the St. John’s family included two men in a relationship with the mother of a child born in 2017. The adults had been together for three years, but the biological father of the child was unknown.

In his decision, Justice Robert Fowler of the provincial supreme court said: “Society is continuously changing and family structures are changing along with it. This must be recognized as a reality and not as a detriment to the best interests of the child.”

https://www.thestar.com/life/2018/06/15/five-things-you-need-to-know-about-polyamory-after-newfoundland-court-ruling.html

3 adults in polyamorous relationship declared legal parents by N. L. court

Newfoundland and Labrador court 

St. John's court ruling believed to be legal first for Canada

Michael MacDonald
The Canadian Press
CBC.ca
June 14, 2018

In what is believed to be a legal first in Canada, a court in Newfoundland and Labrador has recognized three unmarried adults as the legal parents of a child born within their "polyamorous" family.

Polyamorous relationships are legal in Canada, unlike bigamy and polygamy, which involve people in two or more marriages.

'I have no reason to believe that this relationship detracts from the best interests of the child.- Judge Robert Fowler

In this case, the St. John's family includes two men in a relationship with the mother of a child born in 2017.

"Society is continuously changing and family structures are changing along with it," says the decision, by Justice Robert Fowler of the Newfoundland and Labrador Supreme Court's family division.

"This must be recognized as a reality and not as a detriment to the best interests of the child."

The April 4 decision says the unconventional family has been together for three years, but the biological father of the child is unknown. The family members are not identified in the decision, which was released Thursday by the court.

It's not the first time a Canadian court has recognized that a family can have three legally recognized parents. In 2007, for example, the Ontario Court of Appeal recognized both women in a lesbian couple as the mothers of a child whose biological father was already deemed a legal parent. But the three adults in that case were not in a relationship.
Stable, loving family

The three people in the Newfoundland case turned to the courts after the province said only two parents could be listed on the child's birth certificate.

Lawyers for the province's attorney general argued that the provincial Children's Law Act does not allow for more than two people to be named as the legal parents of a child.

In his decision, Fowler acknowledged that was the case, but he stressed that the court's opinion hinged on what was in the best interests of the child.

"It has been well-established that in dealing with the matters of children, the best interests of a child or children shall always be the determining factors for the courts," the decision says.

Fowler said the child was born into a stable, loving family that is providing a safe and nurturing environment.

When the province's Children's Law Act was introduced about 30 years ago, he said, it did not contemplate the "now complex family relationships that are common and accepted in our society."

The judge said it was clear the legislation was aimed at bringing about equal status for all children, but the law included an unintentional gap that acts against the best interests of children born into polyamorous relationships.

"I have no reason to believe that this relationship detracts from the best interests of the child," Fowler's decision says.

"On the contrary, to deny the recognition of fatherhood (parentage) by the applicants would deprive the child of having a legal paternal heritage with all the rights and privileges associated with that designation."

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/polyamourous-relationship-three-parents-1.4706560